The Blooming Flower (on hold)

Chapter 13

Allison did not enjoy the rest of her weekend to say the least. She took some Advil to try and ease her cramps and it worked...for a little while. The pain resulted in sleep deprivation but finally, on Sunday her cramps subsided by about midday, and she took this as an opportunity to snooze the day away.

By Monday she felt much better and decided to do some grocery shopping for more oatmeal for herself and some fruit and eggs. On the way there she remembered her counseling appointment. She honestly felt eager about going because she really had a lot on her mind lately, and she needed to talk to someone whom she didn't know and who could say something other than the all too familar "reassuring" words, "It will be okay." Those do nothing to reassure because they are an empty promise. Things could very well turn out not okay.

She could only hope and pray they would turn out fine: that her grandmother would make it through this horrible time that she would make it through the stressful process of adoption, and her baby would be raised in a safe environment with a loving family. Of course, she would never allow her child to be raised by a couple of nut cases; he would be raised by the most perfect parents possible; Allison wanted only the very best for her baby and she would make sure of it.

As she walked through the fruit produce aisle, she wondered who her baby's parents would be. She'd been experiencing dreams about that woman at the adoption agency becoming his mother. Part of her, the common sense part, scoffed at the idea, but the other part strongly believed it possible and that the dreams were not coincidence.

She stopped talking about it with Todd because he would just call it nonsense. Maybe it was nonsense. What were the chances she would get that lucky to meet her child's future parents before the process barely even began? Technically, they couldn't know for sure unless the adoption agency suggested the woman as a possible candidate. If they did, then no doubt would she choose her over all the others without even the slightest consideration of alternatives because then that would mean that they "met" for a reason.

But the more she thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded. The woman didn't even have a child. Her baby needed an older sibling. That was an absolute must. No, no way could this woman possibly be the one who would raise her baby. Now it sounded so ridiculous that she needed to stop herself from nearly laughing out loud at the thought.

She put it out of mind and focused on what else she needed to get. Oatmeal. Ugh! For some reason that did not sound too appetizing right now. She could go for a big fat juicy burger and some French fries...ooh and a vanilla shake! The craving became almost unbearable by the time she reluctantly walked into the cereal aisle with the Quakers oatmeal. She grimaced, but thinking of her baby, picked one up and tossed it into the cart. Since when did oatmeal disgust her? Since when did fast food appeal to her? Sure she ate it occasionally, but it's not like she held a desperate desire for it. Besides, usually, she didn't really even like French fries; she thought of them as greasy and oily and slimy. However, she didn't think that of them right now as she perused the aisles, trying to mask this intense craving and contemplate what else they needed. But all she could think about right now was how she couldn't wait to get out of here and head to the nearest McDonald's. She had to literally suppress the saliva forming in her mouth from leaking out as she thought about the warm, crispy, salty fries. Screw it! She'd get some milk and eggs, and then she'd get out of here.

As she headed for the milk and eggs, she stopped in her tracks when, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted boxes of cake mix in the aisle adjacent her. Now she was craving chocolate cake! Oh no, what was wrong with her? If she ate like this, her baby would not be getting the essential nutrients he needed to grow and develop. No! No cake! Besides, she just ate cake last week. Then she remembered her plan to reward herself with something sweet every Friday. Last Friday she indulged in brownies when Liz slept over, which she willed herself not to touch the next day or Sunday and why she invited Emily over to eat some with Todd while she stayed in the bedroom, as not to torture and tempt herself. This Friday she could make the cake. So she decided to get it and then, headed for the milk and eggs.