Beginning. // z.m. au [discontinued]

Chapter 18

Reality In Motion | Tame Impala

"You know we're not going anywhere, right?"

I glanced up for a brief moment, looking in the rear view mirror from underneath my eyelashes only to notice Zayn already glancing back at me before returning his gaze to the road ahead of us. I smiled a bit to myself, feeling content all around, before focusing my own eyes on the view beside me that held my attention the entire car ride up until this point.

The car ride back home felt different than others for obvious reasons. One, I was never sat in the backseat whenever Zayn was behind the wheel — there'd never been a reason for me to before until now. And two, I'd never been sat next to newborn child, tucked safely into her car seat until, well, now. It was different, that much was safe to say, new as well, but it just felt so right. I couldn't think of a greater moment I'd ever experienced than this one. I couldn't think of anything else in this world that I felt I was meant to be doing besides this. There was nothing else that could compare.

Zayn's eyes had been on me, on us, glancing our way through the rear view mirror every chance he could possibly get. Each stop sign, each red light we approached, there Zayn was, almost as if he were checking up on his two girls, almost as if he were afraid that one of us were going to disappear out of thin air. It was cute seeing how aware he was already being, how attentive and focused he was on us. Made my heart swell deep in my chest, bursting with so much love and all the colors in the world it seemed, but then again, when was I ever not feeling this way?

He'd always been this way, though, from that very moment I announced that we were expecting a baby. It was like all of his fatherly instincts kicked in from the start, rather than when we met our daughter for the first time. Which was good in a way; I loved seeing him preparing for the big role that was fatherhood and I loved seeing him in action now.

"I know," Zayn nodded, giving me another quick look before adverting his sight for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour. Even when we were still cooped up in our hospital room for the second day before finally being released, he still couldn't keep his eyes off me or our little girl. "I just..."

His response was left open ended, but I still completely understood what he meant.

"S'weird, isn't it?" I asked softly, not bothering to turn away from Lola and her little body, fast asleep in the car seat she was safely buckled up in. Her eyes were peacefully closed, tiny lips just barely parted. I couldn't help but stroke my fingers across the dark hair upon her head, as gentle as I could possibly be — I just wanted to touch her all the time, wanted her in my arms as much as she could. "I feel like it's been years."

"I felt like you were in labor for years."

"Imagine if you'd actually been the one to give birth instead of me," I scoffed playfully, and going by the look on Zayn's face, I think it was safe to say that he was glad that he wasn't.

"Never mind, then," he muttered softly, making me chuckle a bit to myself.

I could feel the car starting to slow down, and when I looked out of the window beside me, I could see our home coming into view and soon enough Zayn was pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park.

I felt so nervous all of a sudden for some reason. My stomach tingled with what felt like a bit of excitement as well as anxiousness swirling inside me. This was it, really — just Zayn and I and a new addition to our little family and the rest of our lives ahead of us. And that was a lot to think about, a lot to handle, but I didn't doubt that it would all be worthwhile.