Boys Like Boys [Nico di Angelo]

chapter fourteen

"So, when you get mad or stressed, your smoke appears, right?" Nico asked and I nodded, watching him. "So I have an idea." He pointed to a flower. "I want you to rile up all of the toxic and bad thoughts you have in your mind, and I want you to let them make you angry."

"What?" I asked, but he just gave me a soft smile.

"Then I want you to just let it all go and touch that flower."

I closed my eyes and thought about every bad thing that had ever happened to me. Bobby's verbal abuse, the cat dying in my hands, the camp thinking I'm a monster, Veda lying and betraying me, the darkness I felt when Atë revealed herself to me. I inhaled, and then, as I exhaled, I let it all go, just like Nico said. I turned it into Greyson and Greg apologizing to me for everything they'd put me through, Veda giving me my real memories, Nico helping me through the aftermaths of my nightmares, his color shifting eyes, Percy's kind offer to help me through whatever Bobby did, Nico's soft touch on my cheek as he told me he trusted me. Serenity, warmth, and home. The things that made me feel at peace, and made me feel safe. I reached down and brushed my fingertips against the flower, holding them there.

Leo telling me in Spanish that his power had been hard to control. Jason understanding and telling me he believed I could get through this. Connor and Travis helping me through everything at the beginning of my camp journey. The moment when I had come to be myself again after my most recent dream with Atë. My mom's lemonade. Her patience with me while she taught me. Nico's soft and warm touch and his caring eyes. Veda's flowers.

I was truly at peace.

"Cal, open your eyes," came Nico's soft voice and I let my eyes flutter open as I looked down at the flower. It hadn't wilted and died. I hadn't even thought about it doing that. I'd been too focused on the things that made me feel warm.

My wavering concentration suddenly made the flower wilt. I didn't even care, because for a few seconds, I had been in control. I had touched something I would normally have killed and it lived, if only for a few seconds.

"Cal, you did it," Nico whispered and I looked up at him, seeing a big smile on his face. "You did it," he repeated, and I felt relief flood me. So I could do it. He pulled me up and twirled me around, before hugging me tightly. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered and I laughed, hugging him back.

"If it wasn't for your advice, I don't know how I would've done it," I admitted and he shook his head.

"No, no, that's was all you. You did that," he said, pulling away so we were face to face. I blushed when his eyes caught mine, smiles on both of our faces. "That was incredible," suddenly, his voice quieted a bit. "You're incredible."

My cheeks flushed an impossible shade of pink as my heart beat quickened and butterflies swarmed my stomach. His arms were still around my waist and suddenly I realized what was going on. Was he going to kiss me?

Suddenly, something flashed behind my eyes. I pulled away from him, pain searing through my head.

"Don't - close - liability." Bits and pieces of sentences echoed in my head and I felt myself fall to my knees. Nico hands were on my shoulders and he was saying something, but I couldn't even hear him. His face was blurry - everything was blurry, as something else came into focus.

"Calum," a sultry voice called and I felt my eyes close. Then, Atë was in front of me, this time standing up as she shuffled around in obsidian robes with a gorgeous royal purple trim. "Good to see you've given in to the darkness."

  I opened my mouth to argue and tell her that it wasn't my choice. The pain in my head had grown to be too much and I had to close my eyes. Except I couldn't speak. Something was forcing my lips shut, and then I realized that something had bound my hands together.

  "What did I tell you about that son of Hades? He's a liability. You can't be getting close to him."

  I shook my head and closed my eyes, trying to block her out. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her, her black nails digging into my skin. It easily rivaled the soft touch of Nico's and I pulled my chin from her grasp.

  "I planned on playing nice, Calum. I really did," she snapped angrily, and I glared at her, willing black smoke to rise, but nothing happened. "And if you won't willingly join me, I'll make you."

You can't, I wanted to say, but again, I couldn't speak.

  "Let's take a look through your past dreams, shall we?" she smirked and I felt my eyes widen as she snapped.