P&P

Chapter Seventeen

After tea with Miss De Bourgh and her daughter Anne at yet another small, quaint tea shop a few days later, I was counting my blessings that I didn't do or say anything embarrassing. When I told Charlotte as much, she couldn't help but laugh.

"The woman is quite intimidating, isn't she?" Charlotte asked, and I nodded profusely as we walked down the sloping parking lot to her truck. "God, I feel so bad for her daughter. To have to go through cancer at age three, and with a mother like that."

"I know." I said in a knowing tone. "We should invite her to do something. Get to know her better."

"I'll call Fitz later and see if he can plan something out." Charlotte told me. "But today I need to get back on track and find a job. I have to pay for that apartment somehow." Part of Charlotte's plan was taking a year off of school to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. Much like me, she also had no idea what she wanted to be.

"There's always the McDonald's down the street." I teased as I nudged her with an elbow and she rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner and smacked my arm.

"No way! I need an office job, like answering phones at a day spa or writing up Excel sheets in some corporate building." I rolled my eyes at her dull choices and she said, "Hey, that's life. And if the pay is good, who am I to turn it down?"

"Oh, no. Please don't go all corporate-sellout on me now." I put up my hands defensively and she narrowed her eyes at me. "Regular people get regular jobs. Charlotte Lucas, you are not regular people!"

"Then what am I?" She asked me as she unlocked her Toyota. When we both got in she started the engine and continued, "Sooner or later, Lizzie, you're going to need to figure out what you want to do with your life. And so will I. But if you never do, you're gonna need something to fall back on."

"I just can't imagine ever doing something I don't love for the rest of my life."

"Then you better figure out what you love – and quick." She drove out of the parking lot and in the direction of her apartment. I knew Charlotte was right. In our friendship, she was the sensible one while I was the dreamer. I often got carried away with fantasies so much that the lines blurred and I no longer knew what was possible and what wasn't. Charlotte was always the one to pull me back.

Which finally lead me back to the one nagging question I still could not answer: what did I want to do with my life?

While Charlotte was out finding a job, I decided I should take action as well. I broke out a legal pad from its plastic case (I was always one to make lists and charts – don't judge me) and began one of my favorite lists of all time: pros and cons.

The pros would be what I was good at, and the cons what I was bad at. Within the first ten minutes of writing, I had filled up the cons column pretty significantly. I was on a roll for so long that I started to feel a bit sorry for myself. The list went as followed:

Cons:

Tennis

Soccer

Volleyball

All sports, really

Drawing

Cooking

Instruments of any kind (excluding the triangle)

Singing