Sky drove me home after walking around town for hours afterwards, since she was a year older and got her license at the beginning of this year.
The best part was the midnight drives, and late night talks about life.
This was another one of those drives.
It was so surreal.
To think, this might be the last time I sat in the passenger seat of this silvery blue truck, it complimented my eyes, not that you could see them in this lighting.
All you could see was her face, lit up in excitement but also in fear.
I would never forget this moment.
Just like I would never forget him, no matter how hard I tried. But. This moment wasn't about that.
This moment was about Sky.
And I swear I could've paused right then and lived in it forever.
"I think moments like these are what I'm gonna miss most about this place," I said."Me too." She said, but I didn't really understand what she meant by that. She wasn't going anywhere.
"And I'm going to miss you! Who's going to take me out to lunch everyday?" I joked in a lighthearted way, but that heart was still sad.
"I'm sure you'll find another girl to replace me, all the boys do."
"Sky...I could never replace you. You're my best friend. Those guys are just.. "
"No, I know. I'm sorry."
" Don't apologize for being hurt."
"You always do," she said looking at me.
"That's different..."
"How?" I don't know, it just is, Sky.
"Ugh," I exclaimed, "Who's going to nag me about apologizing and asking me if I'm okay everyday when they already know the answer?"
"Are you okay?" Every time she asked I would always give the usual 'I'm fine,' or maybe a sarcastic, 'wonderful.'
But something about tonight, and about her, and this being the last ride we'll have for a long time, if ever, I felt like opening up. I felt like I was going to whether I liked it or not, like all of my walls came crashing down..
"I miss him. I miss his tantalizingly chocolate eyes with so much depth you can almost drown in them, and his soft but commanding demeanor. He was rough but gentle all at the same time, and he was a football player, but he wasn't one of those stuck up guys, he had a lot of problems himself. He. He didn't handle them in the best ways, but who really does? He was beautiful, and I'll never see him again."
"I could say the same about you," she said with tears in her eyes."
"But I'm not beautiful. I'm disgusting."
"You keep telling yourself that, but it won't make it true.."
"I, I'm sorry Sky. I'll never see myself the way you see me. When I look at myself, all I see is fat. I just want to go down."
"But how much?"
"I don't know? Maybe to 100."
"You're already underweight, Andrew! You're 125 pounds, for crying out loud. I weigh more than you, I'm 137."
"Yes, but..."
"But who's to say 100 is where you'll draw the line? When does it end? When will you be happy with yourself?"
"You don't understand, it never ends.."
"I just want to help you, Andy. I care about you more than anyone else in the whole world; you're my best friend! And you're just gonna leave, and some other girl is going to be getting these talks with you, and some other girl is going to be helping you when I can't. I just don't know how." And she started crying again.
"Sky, it's not like that. You're irreplaceable. I'll talk to you every night. You're helping just by talking to me about it. I know you care, and I care about you too..I just don't want you to be sad."
"Boy," she let out a soft giggle, "I'll always be sad."
"I was thinking about that earlier. You seem different, when did that happen? Who did this to you? When did you become so broken?"
"I..I don't know. It wasn't all at once, it was just little things and thoughts that I had, and those thoughts became more frequent, and then..One day I looked back and everything was different. I wasn't the person I used to be."
"You are to me, Sky. I don't see you any differently just because you're looking into a broken mirror yourself."
"It's weird that we can never eem to take each other's advice, but then freely use it against them."
"Tell me something I don't already know."
YOU ARE READING
Along Came Andrew
Fanfiction"Maybe I don't want it to; maybe I want to sit down on a couch and lean my head on his shoulder and have him wrap his arms around me, or maybe just hug me as I cry into his shoulder, while he tells me it's going to be fine." B.D. 7.20.16