I live with your heart (literally)

Hollow life..

It has been 6 months and in these 6 months I felt nothing.The world didn't  stop for me but I somehow stopped like a period at the end of a sentence.I did eat but the food was loaded just like petrol into my system by the caretaker who my mom hired.She thinks I have a nervous breakdown but do I have  nerves.When I look into me with the lens stuck on my face I see a void, a very harsh one. Before him my life was plain but after he came and left....I don't  exist anymore.I started taking breath from the moment I saw him from the moment I knew something so warm could exist.In this long time of dormancy something was there to hold on , a simple thought which revolved around ringing pain in my dry ears.Something that he said that we are connected for ever.Now his absence from the circuit has  left an infinite resistance to simple art of living which I completed effortlessly without life in all these years.
                  Now his rough strokes are glaring at me opening my wounds from the wall which looks 100 times more dull than the first time I set my eyes on it...Shifting to his beach house was nothing but agony but the feeling which crush me in its hands slitting my throat with its sharp edges every second tells me the reason why I feel it,his existence. And this thing , this hope has kept our heart beating.

                         Why did he leave?How could he.Did he love me at all?What was that kiss if he didn't....I would have blamed myself if I knew how to blame.My brain doesn't work any more.There is just one name in every heart beat of mine Randhir...To the rhythm of his name I flutter my soul giving energy to survive even as a corpse....

I ďropped my hand to the sides to pull the sheets over me as the pain was overwhelming.I wanted to hide myself away in the darkness of the blanket....My hand hit something hard sending a set of drawers on the floor.I didn't  really bother but something caught my attention.More like something pulled my frozen self to it.It was a diary with leather covers and a name written on top of it which could wake me up from any eternal sleep..I  stretched my fingers to it with a shaking hand when it touched the gold plated letters I knew  it had answers to all my questions which I didn't know  I had....This was the missing link the missing part......