3: Never Let Go (John & Lenny Pearce/Justice Crew Fanfic)

Chapter 1

* Serenity’s POV *

It has been two months since the car accident that took everything away from me. All my dreams were washed away in an instant, leaving me miserable, not wanting to go out and enjoy what was left of me.

Honestly, I don’t even think life is even worth it anymore. Call me suicidal, but that’s how I see my life right now. I wanted it to end because I didn’t like the effect of what had happened to me. I felt useless in every way, and it didn’t help the fact that my family made me move back at home so they could look after me, watch everything that I had to do.

All I could feel was pity, but not their love.

Sure, they love me and their excuse of doing this was because I was their only child, and no matter what happens, they’ll be here to support me. I understand that, and yes, I’m thankful for them being here, but what I hated was the fact that I couldn’t even depend on my own like I used to.

Everything I did was with their consent, making me feel like I can’t have my own decisions, like I can’t have control over my life anymore.

Just like how I didn’t have a control over that steering wheel that cost my life right now.

Why did I have to survive?

Was this some karma that caught up with me?

Last I checked, I did nothing wrong, or nothing that could hurt other people. So what happened to me not only bothered me physically, but also emotionally.

Of all people, why did it happen to me?

* John’s POV *

Waking up to an alarm this morning, I hurriedly fixed up my things and headed my way to the Justice Crew rehearsals, only to find out that I wouldn’t be joining them for a few shows because of how my attitude changed in the course of two months.

Ever since I lost Bailey a second time, I had been a mess, pushing people away, not wanting to talk things over. She was my dream girl, and because of all my wrongdoings, I’ve completely lost her.

Regrets flooded in my head the moment I wake up each morning, and also when I’m about to close my eyes at night. I couldn’t get over the fact I was at fault why she wasn’t in my arms right now.

Compared to the first time I’ve lost her, my family now push me into going to therapies to work things out. They hated the fact that I spend my nights with a beer bottle in hand, wanting to forget for a couple of hours. But we all know, drunk or not, Bailey wouldn’t leave my mind.

I’ve tried focusing on other things, Justice Crew would be one of them, but even that failed as I got a memo earlier from the management, telling me to take a break. I could come back when I’m ready, but by the looks of it, I don’t think I have it in me any longer.

My dad stripped my license off of my hands, lecturing me how childish I act nowadays. Evidently, my kind shouldn’t be left driving off, especially if my mind was out in the open, replaying events in my head like a broken recorder.

Now I’m wandering around the city by feet, taking me to places I’ve wanted to go to. Actually, I think it’s helping me to calm down a bit as I could take my mind off away from most things, thinking ahead what I could do while I’m out of Justice Crew.

Oh, that rhymed!

Well, you’d probably think I’m insane when you find out that I hated reading about things that rhymed, only because it reminded me of the little notes I usually get when something goes wrong. Though now, I knew I wouldn’t get them anymore.