SEX YOU one | bts

chapter | 28

| jimin's point of view

I was trapped in a world I made, in a world where Soo Jin was my only light but how easily it all crumbled down. In just a blink of an eye, I watched as everything I believed in burn into ashes. That world was gone now. I don't live in it anymore but it still hurts because I loved her too much. She used to be the reason every time I smile but I feel nothing even at the sound of her name.

Mara took my hand and I gripped on her desperately as if she was my lifeline. I kept my head down, these stupid tears streaked down my cheek. She brought her other hand up to touch my face, wiping the tears away. She's making it so hard for me to let her go. I want to touch her too but how could I when she hates me so much. I asked myself why it had to be her.

In the end, I have to let her go. It was always like this since the beginning. She was never meant to be mine. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

She shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with this." Mara said as she gave me a gentle smile.

"You should go to sleep." I turned away, letting her hand go. "Go back to your room."

"Jimin?" She held onto the hem of my shirt. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

I turned around to see her face already red, her eyes that couldn't look straight at me and my heart fluttered again.

"I didn't mean it that way!" Mara dismissed the thought in her mind, "Nevermind. Just forget about it. Forget I ever said that."

I took a step towards her and she took one step back. She had nowhere to go as her back came against the wall. My eyes never left her, like a helpless bird, she looked up at me.

"No, I'll take your offer." I said. Suddenly, she was breathing fast. Her lips parted slightly and her cheeks were now flushed pink.

"Jimin." She spoke like an angel, her lips tempting. I wanna feel them against mine so badly.

"Yes?" My voice came out in a whisper, making her eyes flicker down at my mouth. Her tongue swiped quickly over her lips. I don't know what she's doing but I'm so close to losing my sanity.

"Don't play with me." Her gaze became cold and hard as she looked back up in my eyes. The corner of my lips curved up into a smile, "Don't smile."

"Why?" I asked, pushing her harder against the drywall. "Can I not smile when I want to?"

"No." She closed her eyes and turned her cheek away. "I don't think I can do this. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

"Tell me why I can't smile in front of you." I demanded, my voice getting lower and my throat drier, "Do you hate me?" She shook her head. "Then why don't you look me in the eye and tell me why?"

"Because if I do.." Mara shut her eyes closed, refusing to look at me even when I asked her nicely. "I might fall for you and you don't want that."

"What if I want to?" Her eyes shot open with my words. I know she wasn't expecting this answer. "Can't I like you too?"

"I said don't play around with me." She replied almost in a mumble.

"I'm serious." I leaned in closer until I was close enough to brush my lips over hers, "What are you so afraid of?" Her breath felt warm against my cheek. "I like you, Mara. That's why I can't sleep well when you're around. You make it so hard for me to look away, so hard for me not to like you."