Bellamort : A Tropical Vacation!

The Ship Of Dreams.

"Bella! Something is wrong with this rectangle you gave me!" Tom was frustrated with his new iPhone his wife gave him the night before. "I keep sending the laughing cat to Severus and he won't respond."

Bellatrix didn't quite know how to break it to him that Severus was most likely ignoring him. "Sweety, you made him get an iPhone, you can't make him use it." She went to go sit down next to Tom on the couch.

"Like hell I can- show me how to do that thing you do with your sister." Tom was referring to FaceTime.

Bellatrix sighed and set him up with FaceTime with Severus.

"My Lord, I was told this phone was for emergency uses only. What is your emergency?" Severus was sitting down trying to enjoy his morning coffee.

"Severus! Is that you? Can you see me?" Tom was so fascinated by Muggle technology. "Severus, did you get my post card?" Tom had been wondering about it since he sent it.

"Indeed I did, it was... Charming." Severus rolled his eyes, he couldn't believe this side of Voldemort he was seeing.

"It's funny because the cat says right meow- it sounds like now but he is saying meow." Tom started to laugh hysterically.

"I understood the joke quite well, My Lord." Severus found it hard to take The Dark Lord serious.

"I have a gift for you as well, it's a surprise. Hey have you tried a snow cone before? Or a Cinnabon?" Tom had waited his whole trip to talk his best friend. "You wouldn't believe all neat stuff they have here- we need to come back together."

"I can assure you I will not be attending Hawaii with you." Severus wanted to make sure Tom didn't get offended. "Nothing personal.. You know I am not a people person.."

"Neither am I! But I've come to love it here. Today were going on a cruise. Im told that's some boat trip thing, can you believe muggles float on water for entertainment? What weirdos.. So I wanted to prepare myself for this cruise so I watched Titanic, Jaws and any movie that was about sharks."

"My lord, best wishes to you but I must be going now. Remember this phone is for emergency only." Before Voldemort had time to say goodbye Severus disconnected from facetime.

"Come on Tom, its time to go." Bellatrix was wearing a long black dress and sunglasses that covered most of her face, her as usual was untamed and full.

Voldemort rarely ever felt scared in his life, but he found himself quite nervous for the cruise. "What if we hit an iceberg?" He asked Bellatrix concerned as they were walking towards the taxi car. "Or a big shark swallows us up."

"Funny, I think the same thing when Nagini sleeps in our bed." Bellatrix hated that snake. "Were not going to hit a iceberg or get eaten by a shark. I told you not watch those silly movies last night."

"Rose and Jack only had each other, it was so sad." Voldemort was becoming a wreck of so many mixed emotions, Bellatrix found it hard to take him seriously. "Ill never let go..." He said quietly while looking out the car window as they approached the large cruise ship.

All three of them boarded the ship and made there way to their rooms. "Are we first class?" He asked Bellatrix. "Because they have a better chance at being rescued first. Im neither woman or child so I hope we are first class." Voldemort had an idea, he quickly grabbed Tillie like a awkward foot ball and began shouting out amongst the other passengers. "This is my child, if this ship goes down I have to go with her!"

Tillie found it humours how much Voldemort was scared. "For heavens sake put her down! People are looking!" Bellatix grabbed the house elf and placed her back on the ground.

"Sorry, just can never be too careful." Voldemort noticed the ship was moving, he had never felt anything like it before.

"You are a bloody wizard Tom! If this boat goes down we apparate out of here!" Bellatrix rolled her eyes, she was growing more tired of Toms behaviour lately. "Im going to get a drink, please don't do anything stupid."

"How dare you speak to The Dark Lord with such ignorance!" Voldemort puffed out his chest and pointed his nose upwards.

"You are wearing blue surfing shorts and a surfs up tank top Tom." Bellatrix chuckled as she made her way out of the room and towards the bar.

"My lord I'm going to the pool!" Tillie grabbed her towel and headed for the door.

"A pool on the ship? While we're already on water." Tom didn't understand Muggles, he decided to spend some time in the gift shop picking out gifts for his dear friend Severus.

********

Day two on the ship and Voldemort had only throw up six times, Bellatrix had thrown up once but it wasn't from sea sickness but from having a hang over this morning. While Bellatrix was drinking all day yesterday, he found himself deeply fascinated by the early 1900's fashion from Titanic and decided just this once to use his wand and fashion himself and Bellatrix a wardrobe of 1900's attire. Tom came out of the bathroom while Bella was laying down on the bed with a cold cloth over her face wearing a full black suit and in his hand he was holding out an exact replica of Roses dress from the movie titanic.

"Darling, look at what I made you last night." Bellatrix eyes narrowed on the dress, she didn't know why her husband made it for her but thought it was a nice gesture. "Put it on, its time for breakfast."

"Tom we cant dress like this for others to see.. we already don't fit in..." Bellatrix had grown use to people staring at her husband but couldn't imagine the looks they would get wearing these outfits out in public.

"Look at me!" Tillie came bursting out of bathroom, she was wearing a gold dress similar to Bellatrix's."Its so pretty, can I wear it!?"

"Of course you can." Bella smiled, Tom was becoming irritated by Bella's lack of enthusiasm.

"We are going to miss breakfast, can you put this on and tame your hair!" Tom placed the dress onto the bed and took a seat at the small bar in there room. "I'll wait..."

"What's wrong with my hair!" Bellatrix was trying to get into her tight dress, she knew how ridiculous they were going to look but if it kept Tom happy and out of her hair she was going to roll with it.

After pulling her hair back into somewhat of an ensemble they made there way to the dining hall, Bellatrix had never felt so many eyes on her at once. "Are you sure this is first class?"Tom looked around, no one was dressed like them.

"There isn't classism on this ship Tom, it isn't morally right anymore." Bellatrix took her seat at the table, she noticed Tillie didn't mind all the attention.

"Than how do we know who is better without classism?" Tom took a seat across from his wife while still looking around at everyone's lack of fancy attire.

"Everyone is equal, Tom." Bellatrix was pouring herself some red wine.

'Horrendous." He replied disgusted. "As long as everyone knows I am better than them.."

"Oh, Im sure they have an idea." Bella laughed, the site of The Dark Lord in a full tuxedo was charming yet hilarious.

"We will both have the lamb and mint something on the side." Tom told the waiter in a snobby voice, he memorized the menus from the Titanic. "You like lamb don't you darling?" He recited to her as if he was in a movie.

"Um, tonight's special is steak and lobster.." The waiter wasn't sure if he should laugh or take Tom seriously.

"No no, first class have the option of..." Tom began reciting the Titanic menu to the waiter, Bella thought it was time to intervene.

"Bloody hell Tom, this isn't the Titanic! Get the steak and zip it!" Bellatrix was losing her patients with him.

Tom let out a long sigh before agreeing. "Fine, give me whatever peasant food you have back there." He rolled his eyes and continued to pretend he was on the Titanic after the waiter left, still driving Bella insane.