Graciously Ginny (Letters Of Change Series Book 5)(COMPLETED)

Chapter Fourteen

Graciously Ginny

Chapter Fourteen

~~

Ginny enjoyed dancing with Thomas she liked the way he smiled at her. She was almost taken back at the fact that he was the same man who had been too drunk to speak to her let alone hold himself up properly when they first met; she still remembered telling him off, not knowing he was her boss as he leaned against the livery. So much had changed in such a small amount of time.

Her cousin Gideon played the Banjo, while her other cousin Laura sang beautifully. Lindy and Levi danced nearby laughing at something unknown, Ginny had always been jealous of her sister and brother-in-law's relationship they had been best friends since childhood- although Levi had always loved her it seemed to take Lindy longer to figure out her feelings, but still the two of them seemed to have their own language and be in their own world.

Her cousin Ariel and her husband Nathan were the same way; the two hadn't known each other longer than two years but one would never guess that from the way they acted. They seemed so happy and now Ginny didn't feel so angry about that, she was happy for her sisters and her cousins finding love. She was happy that they all got happy endings- she no longer envied them because of it.

Julie even danced, she giggled as she and her husband Lawson danced next to Ginny and Thomas.

Ginny smiled because in that moment everything felt right, she forgot about her struggle to keep her feelings in check, she forgot about all the sorrows she had experienced and was still experiencing. In that moment she just enjoyed dancing with her husband while being surrounded by her family members.

~~

Ginny laughed the next day on Christmas Eve as Thomas once again stabbed his finger with the needle he had been trying to string popcorn, and by the multiple times he'd caused his fingers to bleed she could tell he'd never done it before.

Her Mother had a large evergreen in the corner of the parlor just as She had done since she was little they decorated it with popcorn strings, tinsel, paper flowers and ornaments. They had the nativity scene under the tree- It had belonged to her mother's mother- it was beautifully carved and painted Ginny had often admired it as someone had taken the time to make each detail pop, from the three wise men each holding their gifts to baby Jesus in the manger. Even an angel looked on from above Joseph and Mary.

"Ouch" Thomas said once again stabbing his finger; he stuck it in his mouth and Ginny walked over to him, taking the seat next to him she handed him the bowl of popcorn and took the string and needle.

"Here" she said "You hand me the popcorn and I'll string it... I take it you've never done this before?"

"No can't say that I have." He said with a laugh as he looked over to Wilhelmina and Lorelei who played Dolls with Maggie.

"What did your family used to do for Christmas?" Ginny asked curiously.

"My parents stopped celebrating it after we lost my brothers... they died two days before Christmas and never got to open their gifts. Then when I married Elsie she would get a tree and put cotton on it for snow" he said with a laugh shaking his head at the memory "and she'd buy ornaments, real breakable ones... once we had Wilhelmina almost all of the ornaments got broken, Elsie got so upset."

"How'd they break?"

"Wilhelmina would push over the tree, thankfully not on herself but she was almost one and already walking and she just pushed. We moved the tree, cleaned up the mess and we got more cloth and paper ornaments."

Ginny smiled, it was nice to hear of Thomas's past since he so rarely talked about it.

"Who wants cookies?" Scarlett asked as she came into the room "Oh and Thomas the boys are in the barn working on presents you said you wanted to... help them?"

"Yes that's right" Thomas said clearing his throat "You've got this covered right?"

"Yes... but be careful you don't want to cut your hand off or something."

"I'll be helping your cousins, so I'll be fine." Thomas said kissing her forehead before leaving.

Ginny shook her head; he was up to something she just didn't know what.

"Honey would you like some ginger cookies?" her mother asked "Lindy and Julie are going to be here soon and then tonight we're all going to church, Maggie's got the part as the Angel in the live nativity scene."

"Thank you Mama" Ginny said accepting one of the cookies, her mother always cooked many, many sweets for Christmas, they all did. "Maggie are you excited to be the Angel?"

"Yes and I've got lines to say!" Maggie said excitedly "Do you want to hear them Sissy?"

"Yes I do." Ginny answered smiling as her sister stood up in front of her.

"Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

"Very good Maggie!" Ginny said as she and her mother and Wilhelmina and Lorelei clapped.

"Thank you!" Maggie blushed slightly, her bright blue eyes shined as her dimpled smile showed her happiness.

"She's been practicing for months." Scarlett beamed "You're going to be the best Angel they've had dearest." She said hugging Maggie. Ginny smiled at the scene, her parents had always been so supportive of every one of their children she just hoped one day to be as good of a parent as hers.

~~ ~~

Thomas smiled, proud of himself and what he had built for his girls. For Wilhelmina and Lorelei, he had – with the help of Ginny's Cousins, built a Rocking horse, he would stay up late to paint it. He hadn't made anything for Ginny, but he had bought her a cameo ring he noticed her admiring once when they went to the mercantile.

He hoped she would like it.

"Tom" Ginny's Uncle Dan said as he came into the barn "It's about time to go to church Ginny sent me in to tell you."

"Alright thank you sir... I'll clean up and be there real quick."

"Don't worry the girls don't come in here, they know that around Christmas this is where we do our work on the presents... well Lindy always tries to sneak in here but we hide her presents."

Thomas laughed at that, from what he could tell Ginny's family had two wild cards- Lindy and Ariel.

~~ ~~

Ginny hadn't been to the church she was supposed to marry Fergus in since the rehearsal the day before his death. She held tight to Thomas's arm and Wilhelmina's hand. Thomas carried Lorelei as they entered the white building. Ariel waved them over to sit next to her and Nathan and Lindy and Levi and Julie and Lawson, and her mother Scarlett all sat in the front row.

She instantly remembered her last time in the small chapel. Fergus had looked so happy his emerald eyes sparkled as he winked at her walking down the aisle towards him; it felt almost like a dream now. His dark rusty colored hair hung in slight waves and fell over his forehead, she remembered how handsome he had looked when it fell over one eye and he peered down at her with a lazy smile.

She was surprised when the memories no longer followed with the unbearable pain she used to feel when she thought about Fergus, she looked at Thomas who looked back at her with warm Brown eyes he smiled at her as did Lorelei who sat in his lap she held tight to her rag doll and looked towards the stage.

"Mama when is it going to start?" Wilhelmina questioned sighing and leaning on her.

"Soon Honey." She told her when she noticed Ariel smiling at her. "What?"

"You're a good mother." Ariel said sincerely.

"Thank you Arrie. You're a good mother too." Ginny smiled too, she felt like their mother- she loved them just as if she had given birth to them herself- so it was good to hear that people thought her to be a good mother.

Ginny watched as Ariel bounced Bennet in her lap, she wondered what it would be like to hold a child after it had been in your stomach for so long.

The rest of the church service went off well, Maggie was a wonderful Angel she had a real talent on stage and Ginny wondered if she'd become a star one day. Once they were home they put the children to bed telling them "Santa won't leave you any presents if you're not asleep."

Lorelei fell asleep first and then Wilhelmina fell asleep shortly after Ginny started reading a visit from St. Nicholas.

She then joined Thomas and her family in the living room as they all got ready for the next morning. She stopped in her tracts as Thomas carried in a beautifully painted Rocking horse.

"Did you make that?" she questioned with wide eyes "Oh Thomas it's just beautiful! The girls are going to go crazy for it!"

"Do you think so?" he asked nervously.

"Yes!" she said with a smile as she turned back to hanging a few gifts on the tree. Thomas put down the rocking horse and her heart sped up as he looked at her.

"Can I speak to you alone?" He asked running a hand threw his dark blonde hair.

"The Library is empty." Scarlett told them shooting her a knowing smile only a mother could give.

She nodded and led him towards her mother's favorite room in the house; she lit a few lanterns for light and took a seat on one of the overstuffed chairs.

"I wanted to give this too you" He said taking a blue velvet square box from his coat pocket.

Ginny looked up at him with wide eyes as she opened the box to reveal a beautiful Cameo ring she had seen at the mercantile, she couldn't believe he had known how much she had wanted it. She had always wanted a cameo.

"Oh Tom this is just..." she trailed off her sentence when she couldn't control her emotions any longer and a few tears spilled from her eyes.

"You don't like it do you?" he said shaking his head "I'm sorry I just I saw you look at it... and I thought-"

"No I do want it, it's beautiful Tommy, I just can't believe you know me so well... no one's ever gotten me something that's so- well me. I love it I really do." She said wiping the tears from her eyes and looking up at Thomas "Thank you." she said leaning over to hug him.

She went to pull away but stopped and kissed him instead. His lips were soft and welcoming as they kissed her back her heart fluttered as did her stomach. When he pulled away she was breathless and she thought that her heart would jump out of her chest.

"I-I've got something for you as well..." she said standing up and making her way to the desk where she had hide his present- it was a pocket watch with a picture of a train carved into it, she had also put a picture of herself and the girls they had taken secretly in it. She was nervous he wouldn't like it but she pushed through that emotion and handed him the gift she had spent so long wrapping.

He opened it slowly and when he lifted the pocket watch he looked up at her with Awe.

"There's more" She said taking it from him and opening it to reveal the picture within. She handed it back to him with shaky hands nervousness taking over.

"Ginny this is great, now I can have my girls with me no matter where I go" he said placing a kiss on her forehead "Thank you."

She felt so relived he liked the pocket watch, she had wondered if he would or not.

"Ariel gave me the idea after I wrote her and told her I didn't know what to get you... I picked the train because that's how I came to you... I don't know it seems silly now..." she said suddenly blushing and wondering why she had just blurted that out.

"I don't think it's silly" he said, his voice deep with emotion "I think it's the best gift anyone's ever given me."

Ginny smiled she was happy she had taken the advice of her cousin, who had gotten the same thing for her own husband last year.

"I love you Ginny." He said seriously, Ginny was taken back she hadn't expected to hear that from him. Suddenly fears came rushing in, what if she let herself love him? What if he died? Could she really go on again after another was taken from her?

No she didn't love him. She couldn't. This was the man who- up until recently had been an awful father. He barely spent time with his children. Her eyes widened is that why he was spending time with Wilhelmina and Lorelei, because of her?

"You don't have to say it back" he said taking her hand in his "I just wanted you to know how I feel."

"Why?" she asked taking her hand away and standing up "Why'd you have to say that? I-I... You don't love me. I'm the Governess." she paced the room wishing she very much hadn't heard him correctly.

"It's the truth Ginny I do love you I just wanted to let you know that. And you haven't been "the Governess" since we got married, you've been the girls' mother." He said standing up and walking over to her.

She shook her head "Thomas, I'm not ready for this."

"I don't mean to scare you. This all on your terms Gin, I was just hoping that eventually you'd share my feelings." He spoke so sincerely, like a man in love. And that scared her more than anything, the fact that she knew he was being honest and that his feelings were real.

"I need to go to bed." she said, "goodnight Thomas I'll see you in the morning." She practically ran out of the room afraid to feel what she knew she already felt.

~~ ~~

Thomas watched as Ginny left him, he shouldn't have said anything, but he just blurted out what he had been wanting to tell her for some time now. He should have known she wasn't ready. She hadn't been ready; they didn't even share a marital bed, aside from that one night.

He sighed and opened his pocket watch once more peering at the picture of Ginny, Wilhelmina and Lorelei. He wondered when she had gotten it taken. He smiled knowing he'd cherish that picture forever.