Hazy

Chapter Seven.

Author’s Note: Just a quick update, before I go back to school for the second semester. Wish me luck! This isn’t fully furnished, so I’m sorry if it feels like it is just a filler for you. It might even looked like it’s rushed, but I don’t know. I might edit this sometime, before I post Chapter Eight. But hey, I’m kinda updating fast now, right? I’m in love with your votes/comments! :)

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Chapter Seven mini-playlist:

Just Say Yes – Snow Patrol

Daydreaming – Ariana Grande

Everything Has Changed – Taylor Swift featuring Ed Sheeran

This – Ed Sheeran

Green Eyes – Coldplay

Somewhere Only We Know – Keane

Waking Dream – Natalie Walker

Everything Is Brilliant – Rosy Golan featuring Gary Lightbody

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Hazy.  Chapter Seven.

So I said yes.

I said yes to Marcel.

I remembered that I did a quick nod, overwhelmed at the sudden emotions that hovered over my system – overwhelmed at each other’s eagerness for the both of us, for me, to say yes.

I said yes, not because of the bet or just because I don’t have anyone with me to go with, not even friends. I said yes, because there’s no greater joy than to unwillingly say yes to a person who ‘likes’ you and you think you like back. It was a nervous yes, like a yes when your teacher asks you if you’re ready for the big test before actually giving you the test paper. It’s that yes. The yes you almost didn’t choke out, the yes you knew that could oppose everything that happened recently. It was insane, to make an inner resistance to myself, for my head to say no. To say no to the boy with the huge glasses – that pleaded me to say yes. An inner battle between what I wanted and what I needed to do. No? How can I say no to him? Yes? How can I manage the bet?

But I said the latter choice. I said yes. Not a no that I should’ve said, but a quick nod with a yes.

The guilt within me is still here, though – churning my stomach to an enormous extent that I need to resist a possible throw up.

Austin.

I wonder if he will he go to prom too? Will he be alone? Or perhaps, with someone else?

Someone new, someone not me.

I swear I’m not bitter, I swear I’m not. I guess this is a feeling of transitioning away – from Austin’s shadow, from being Austin’s girlfriend to being just Jamie Bennett.

I’m quite sad we ended up this way. Austin isn’t one of the nicest guys around, but he did treat me alright. Not right, but alright. Maybe because I didn’t mind at all, but of course, I should give him a few coins for that.