Love
noun;
a strong feeling of affection
I stood where I was for five whole minutes, still shocked, and still watching Harry sobbing hysterically on my bathroom floor.
I didn’t expect him to even come back; I was sure, positive, that he was out of my life – forever.
“You can’t fucking do that!”
He said abruptly and stood up, his face showed how angry he was – but there was a deep sadness underneath all that anger, which was all directed at me – I know it was.
“You aren’t allowed to fucking die, no, you aren’t.”
“You don’t get to decide that, Harry.”
“To hell I fucking don’t.”
I wasn’t used to hearing him swear, my eyed widened, normally Harry would blush and laugh it off – but he didn’t, he kept walking towards me until he towered over me.
He was very, very angry.
“You left! You weren’t coming back! I can’t do this, Harry! I’m not meant to be happy, stop fighting fate!”
“Fate? Killing yourself isn’t fate, Porsche, us meeting, that was fate.”
By now we were screaming at each other, in each other’s faces – very loudly. The room was filled with so much tension, it was almost unbearable, but I managed, and by the looks of Harry, he was managing too.
“You’re the one who has to stop fighting fate, Porsche. It’s you; you make yourself think you aren’t allowed to be happy. Don’t you get it? Do you honestly not fucking get it?”
“Get what?”
“You are allowed to live the life you want; you’re allowed to be happy! For God’s sake! Why can’t you get it through your thick skull; stop telling yourself this bullshit that you shouldn’t be alive, that you shouldn’t allow anyone’s support, and that you don’t deserve anything! You do! You deserve the whole world, you don’t even realise it!”
“What…”
I was confused; utterly confused. I don’t even know what he was saying anymore. The more he spoke, the quieter his voice got.
“You don’t even realise it, Porsche, you, you’re bloody wonderful, you’re so smart and funny, and you give life to other people – it radiates off you when you allow yourself to be happy, but you constantly push yourself down again, you do it to yourself. You deserve to be happy!”
He’s gone crazy, absolutely coo-coo.
“No, Harry… I, I don’t… please, stop.”
He sighed, and spoke so quietly, I had to strain my ears to hear him.
“Don’t you see what’s in front of you Porsche? I love you.”
My heart thudded in my chest, loudly, I swear, it even skipped a beat or two.
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Trust » Harry Styles
Fanfiction❝I never thought angels were real, but here you are.❞ Porsche doesn't believe in anything, not even herself. She hates the world, including everyone and everything in it. That was until Harry came along. HARRY A/U © QUEENARRY 2013
