The past, it's heataches, and happiness

Missing him

   I woke up 15 minute late then usual, didn’t help staying up until late hours in the night thinking of my ex Tony, I still loved him, but I knew I need to move on. I sighed as my mom turned on the light, it hurt my eyes only for a few quick seconds though, my eyes adjusted and she said “Time to get up Alec, you and Josh got school”. She left my room, thank god, I was annoyed a little, I sighed and got up still tired but I need a damn shower, I went over to my dresser where I had towel sitting out. I got the towel and my clothes my closet and went into the bathroom and took a quick 10 minute shower. I was in and then out, I put on my regular black skinny jeans, black tight v-neck, black socks, and a studded belt. I went back into my room and I did flat ironed my black shaggy hair, then fixed my Monroe piercing, slipped on my tight leather jacket and my schedule and books. I went downstairs avoiding my parents and I drove me and my brother to school, Josh said to me as we approached it.  

“Do you think since we moved here you’ll get your mind off of Tony and move on?” he asked in a quiet tone. I didn’t look at him, the mention of his name made my heart ache , cringe inside, I just shrugged holding back the tears I wanted to shed, and I parked the car farthest from the school. I got out of the car and so did my brother and I said “we got each others back, so if you need me look for me okay?” Josh nodded and left going into the school. I went in the school 5 minutes later taking it all in, I walked up and sighed, opening the door, and going to my first class on the morning, History, not my best subject, my best subject was art. I walked in and seen only a teacher, I was the first to arrive, I went up to the teacher and said “I’m Alec, the new kid” I said in a quiet tone. He looked up at me and smiled “Hi Alec, nice to meet you, here is you class outline and text book” he smiled handing me the stuff and I took it and he said “take a seat anywhere you like” he smiled and went back to his class planner thing. 

I went and took a seat near the back sliding my stuff underneath it I slouched a bit in my chair and bowed my head, my black fringe falling in front of my blue eyes and pale skin, as I waited for class to start. During history people looked at me, mainly girls, but it didn’t bug me because one I don’t like girls, and two I’m used to being stared at. I couldn’t concentrate in history and then my next three classes, Geometry, Chemistry, and English 12 A…..I was to focused on the thought of Tony.

I hated in here in the first 10 minutes, no one said anything to me, but oh well maybe it’s me…I probably give off a back off vibe, and well that’s their problem. I left my last three classes, carrying all my shit, since I wasn’t able to get a locker, so I went into the lunch sat alone, people stared at me again and then in my next two classes wood shop and Art.

I loved art, I got a table to myself, since their was only 10 people in that class, friends already been made, I had no one, just my thoughts and creative mind.

I made a drawing of my ex, bad idea…It made me miss him more, I wanted to cry, but not in school, I left after the bell range and texted my brother that I wanted to leave now, he met me by the car and we got in and headed home, he asked “make any friends?” he asked with a smile I just shook my head, keeping silent and I pulled in the drive way, getting out and walking quickly into the house, avoiding mom and Brent, I choose not to call him dad, I went into my room and locked the door, I set my stuff down and started to quietly sob to myself, it was pathetic I admit but I was in love. I sat on my bed thinking of him, he told me he loved me but its not love when they cheat on you .

I laid in bed crying, missing his scent, touch, love, face, everything about him, but I knew it wasn’t possible, he was 150 miles away, thank god, I would probably cave in, and risk another heartbreak. I took a quick nap after I cried for about an hour or so, my mom knocked on the door and told me dinner was done, I told her “I’m not hungry” and she said “are you okay honey?” I sighed and said “yes” she left after a good three minutes. I went back to sleep hoping to ease my pain a bit, tomorrow was Saturday so it had to be at least a bit better right?