Post - it

what i've learned today

i haven't been very good to this body.
it has been overfed, it has been starved,
it has been pumped with chemicals.

with my eyes comparing it, it morphs
to a twisted crooked stunted
mass of fat and meat and bones.

it rarely receives my love, this body.
why do you move like this?
why do you talk like this?
why do you exist?

there are dark times
when it needs to be protected from me.
never had i seen such organised blood,
such visceral manifestation of hatred;
my four horsemen wreaking pain on innocent flesh.

this is me being vulnerable.
i feel like burnt skin putting this out -
naked, shivering to the feather touch.
this was me, this was my sadness, this was

i make attempts to treat it better now.
i value this vessel -
despite the destruction attempts,
it still healed every physical scar.
the least i can do is repair the abstract ones.

i wish to make friends with it now,
i'm hoping it forgives me.