Adopted By Tronnor [ON HOLD]

Chapter 7

I sighed as I flipped through the channels, not finding anything to watch. I flipped through it until I found something that wasn't awful, Pitch Perfect.

Footsteps came quickly down the stairs. Troye quickly ran to the couch and flopped next to me. "I haven't seen this in forever!"

"I thought Mean Girls was your thing?"

"No, Mean Girls is Tyler's. It used to be mine."

"And Connor's is?..."

"White Chicks, duh," he said.

I laughed under my breath and turned back to the TV. I fell over and my head landed on his lap. I stretched out and fake-yawned loudly.

"Comfy?"

I nodded, a small smile on my face. My eyes drifted to the faded scars on my wrists. There were some that you could barely see, then there were some that were darker and stuck out more, the deeper ones.

It had took me months to be able to wear something that wasn't a hoodie or something with long sleeves. I was so insecure about them, and sometimes I still am. There are still times I can't even look at them, put on a hoodie like I used to.

I was the most suicidal person in the orphanage. Yeah, all of them were sad, some depressed, but none of them probably had a thought about suicide, well along try to commit one.

Sage had caught the first time I had tried, after that the other seven times I made sure I was somewhere she couldn't get to me.

**Flashback** TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

It had been another impossible day, one that seemed to have never ended. I was ready for it to be over, the day and my life.

Sage and me made it back to our room, she flopped on her bed and pulled out her phone while I just sat down on mine.

All these thoughts ran through my head at an alarming pace.

Worthless.

No one will adopt you.

Why are you still alive?!

I blinked, why was I still alive? I had no reason to be alive, so why was I?

I could end it, right now, and not have to deal with anymore bullshit. I thought for a moment, but how was I gonna do it?

None of the orphans have access to any meds, we have showers not baths so I couldn't drown myself...the knife! There was a knife in the kitchen that the cooks used to cut our food. No one ever worried about a kid killing themselves, so they just left it on the counter, clean for the next day.

"I, uh, gotta go to the bathroom," I said to Sage quickly.

"Don't fall in," she joked.

I took one last look at her, realizing this would be the last time I saw her, the last time she saw me.

I gulped and got up, walking out of our room. I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

Sage knew how suicidal I was, so I would have to be quick so she wouldn't catch me.

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, the darkness making my anxiety raise. My heart beat in my chest like a drum, faster than it had before.

I finally went into the kitchen, the faint glow from the moon was the only light. I walked into where the cooks went, searching frantically for the knife.