Steph & Ella

CHAPTER SIX

My life, some people think has been given to me on a platter of gold.

I had all that I could ever need. With my mom as a two-time Senator and my dad an international pilot..the world was at my beck and call.

I had everything I ever needed but lacked happiness.

My family, the little I remember was one mixed with love and chaos.
My parents loved each other until the enemy came crashing down on us: ambition

My mom was caring and so loving but was power intoxicated, a career woman to the core.
Nothing came in between her and her job no matter what and this she demonstrated by her inability to lay down her life for her family; for her daughter, Me.

My dad, obviously loved me just like my mom did, and tried so hard every now and then but his jib wouldnt let him. Poor thing.

He was always there for me the little he could until the great divide.

I was practically raised up by my nanny Elsa who I chose to call aunt Elsa. She was just everywhere, all over me

She was practically there through out my major life stages and experiences, always taking pictures, advicing and always making sure I was always happy. I couldn't have asked for a better nanny, or should I say, mother.

She taught me all that I ever knew. She was there for me at all times.
She was my confidant, my partner in crime, my friend, mother and sister which I never had until the cold hands of marriage came and snatched her away from me.

She really wasn't happy that she left but I guess that's every woman's joy and what every woman would want to experience someday right?
Even though some women aren't worth being mothers: women like my mom who are so married to their career.

Elsa got married to her old time boyfriend, John and as if the agony was not enough, moved to far away Australia where they now live as husband and wife. Every now and then, we talk over the phone but it can never in anyway bridge the gap that has already been created by wicked distance...well, Marriage.
If I could turn back the hands of time or just had some kind of power to do things, I would put her first in my life as my mom.

Talking about marriage, I dread that topic as if it was death itself. I mean, what's the essence if it's not built on love and compassion. Anyway that's the last thing on my mind now.

It seemed as though if had it all but deep down I was just like the normal girl on the street. Oh yes, .money has a way of playing the perfect character you want it to be but isn't happiness all that matters?

My dad tried to be the best he could be but it didn't always turn out as planned.

My name is Steph, a girl with a broken heart. Money has gotten all that I wanted but not essentially all that I needed.

I live but with the perception that humans are cold hearted and mean..selfish and brutal.

Nevertheless, I believe that there has to be a few good people in the world like my Aunt Elsa.
Maybe fate had already decided that I would never ever find true happiness and love but live with this loneliness for the rest of my life.

Well, after all that's been said and done, one must be what one must be.

One has got to carve a niche for oneself.

"No matter what it takes, I have to be happy and just like the saying " if life hands you lemons, you make lemonade" but I choose to say " life gave me very bitter lemons, and I made for myself not just some lemonade, but with a twist; a pink lemonade"

I have come to the conclusion never ever to let circumstances dull my shine. After all, everybody has issues. Some choose to let their problems to drag them down into the pit with them while some choose to cover it up and live decently like every other normal human being.

One only lives once they say..therefore, I am my own one man squad, it's me, myself and I. ..it is me against the world. I am my own best friend and worst enemy

And like I said;
"You only live but once". That doesn't mean I am such a bad bad person. Yes I can be a pain in the butt and that is whenever I choose to be so but I am the nicest one can ever come across if thenperson appears to be real to me..I dislike fake people.

Friendships are entirely fictitious and hypothetically assumed, accepted by some who choose to welcome it...well not me.

Everybody's in a relationship for a reason, a benefit which when it stops coming in, the relationship begins to die sort of.

Maybe that's my philosophy but that's actually what I've figured out.

If it is so, then why do people go into relationships knowing that someday it is going to come to an end? Is it for the benefit, to satisfy a desire, for a longing, or for the simple fact that they want to feel like normal sociable people. But if this is the case, I keep asking, how then can relationships be permanent.

Crazy questions in my head.

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