Throughout the Years: The person I'm becoming to be

Grade 6

Although grade 5 was the best school year, that summer was the opposite. My uncle died that year in 2011, from an enlarged heart and fell a number of stories from a building his company was working on. He was a millwrighter. It was my first time being part of a funeral that I remember or going to, in general.

When I am at funerals, it makes me feel sick to the stomach and I have no feeling of remorse for the family members of the loved one that passed away. But this funeral was the one that made me feel sick to my stomach a thousand times worse. On the day of the invitation, I remember having no feeling or nothing. All I knew was that my uncle was dead and wasn't coming back. I was 10/11 and couldn't sit still; going to and from, between going outside the funeral home and back in multiple times. Also, I saw my neighbours there; I was so excited to see them there. The next day, my siblings and I didn't go for some reason. On that day my cousin, Dramatica, and her family came on that day.

On the day of the burial, I started crying during the service. I was crying for my aunt who lost her husband and best friend, my cousins who wouldn't grow up not knowing about their dad and everyone who lost a friend, a brother, a father, and a son that day.

My uncle was the best of all my uncles combined, in my opinion. He would always make me laugh, and feel happier than normal. Being around him, made you feel a hundred times better. One memory that sticks out to me was that he would play Mario Kart Race on their Nintendo Cube, where ever we came to visit. Just me, my brother, and him playing Mario Kart with him. So let's say that my start to grade 6 was a complete 180 from the start of Grade 5.

Starting Grade 6, I thought that my best friend was going to hang out with me more often than last year. But I was wrong. That school year we were split into different classes; I was in the portable and she was in the school. Don't get me wrong; I loved being in the portable, but sometimes I wish we were in the same class.

You know how you did those 'what did you do last summer' every year in elementary school. Well so did I. We were learning to write memoirs. The only thing that was replaying in my head was the funeral. All I could think about was the funeral; how it was a bright blue sky without clouds, the dirt pile beside his grave, and the gravestone with the pictures of a family photo of the four of them.

That year Hazel eyes wasn't in my class. I remember when a new girl came and she had to sit beside me. She was the tallest one in the class. No the whole grade! Also, I can't forget the one person who always makes me mad. Let's name him Asshole. Anyway, Asshole is always making me so mad; in the portable, we had to share a basket for indoor shoes, winter hats, etc. He had like 3 pairs of shoes and 5 hats.

At the time I had one of those cross-strap briefcase backpacks and he had a backpack, a regular backpack. I had the back hook and he had the front hook. I suggested that I have my bag at the front because my bag hung low and you could easily get to his backpack through it. But did he agree to it? No!! So for the rest of the school year, I had to push through everyone's backpack just to get to mine. I really think that I should have deserved an award for putting up with him for all the years he has been in my class (3 to 5 classes).

Throughout the year, it was boring. Then I decided to hang out with these 2 girls; Blondie and Brunette. They were best friends, although I thought Blondie and the girl who dated Hazel Eyes were, but whatever.

Anyway, I started hanging out with them. Every recess we would always go either behind the portable or over by the small forest of trees near the teacher's parking lot.

Although what happened in Grade 5, I still have a crush on, you guess who?! That's right, Hazel eyes. That year he was in my cousin's class in the school. I forgot to mention that in fifth grade she pointed out where he lived. I was over at her house for some reason and on the way home she pointed it out to me. Ever since then, whenever we pass by his house, I would always look towards where his house was.

That year my eyes would catch a glimpse of if he was here or no; usually, playing soccer with his friends. Every time I would catch a glimpse of him and sometimes if I'm lucky, he would catch me looking at him. Although he knew my crush on him (I think), he would sometimes be friendly with me. All that year it felt like I was being drawn towards him, like some kind of attraction. But it was mostly one-sided.

Sometimes I would catch myself staring at him for the whole entire recess. Sometimes I would feel like playing with them, whether it was soccer, four-square, basketball, etc., but mostly soccer. When I come to think of it, I was mostly all alone. No one wanted to be my friend because I am a shy and quiet girl who doesn't stand up for herself, voice her own opinion, but just gets completely shut down every time, whether it was wrong or right. I am a coward for many reasons.

During the winter at recess, I was asked by a girl if I wanted to be curly's girlfriend. The stupidest answer was yes because just a few minutes later she said that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me.

Through and through, that year was okay. I gained some new friends, still had a crush on him, and lost my best friend that year also. Although I knew from the start I had already lost her and I still am losing her to this day in senior year of high school.