My Fallen Angel

The Fallen Sparrow

               The nostalgic memories hurt more than anything else. I remember curling up to her while we watched a movie together, she tousled my hair with her soft delicate hands. I remember what was going through my head that day, I remember thinking that she was the most beautiful thing known to man and I couldn't understand how her eyes got to be so bright. I remember thinking that if I ever lost her I would kill myself, some commitment, I'm still technically alive. Although the inside of me doesn't seem to feel too sprightly. She was my light and now that it's dark my heart can't discern things all too well, it doesn't see anything but darkness. I was designed to be a curious one, to understand how things work and how things are but I haven't a care now. Not a care in the world.

It's 3:00 AM when I step off my bed onto the floor, the hardwood creaks beneath me. I tiptoe across my room towards the door, trying to keep the creaks to a bare minimum since my parents are sleeping. Down the stairs I walk as close to the wall as I can which reduces the creaks, I open the front door to our house and close it softly. Ol' Bessy my beautiful blue automobile waits for me in the driveway. I jingle my keys and start the car, the engine gives a low rumble which is one of the things that I love about her. She's quiet but accelerates faster than most cars, two birds with one stone. I drive for what seems to be forever and finally I reach a burial ground. I park Bessy and walk towards a headstone with a single blue-dyed rose atop it. Along with the blue rose is a tag with Jasper  written in my best handwriting. My finger finds a small crack in the headstone and I follow it down to the nameplate. "Sparrow Harding" it reads, I water the ground with my tears. 

After about an hour my throat starts to swell from all the crying. I'm lucky to find a blanket in the trunk of my car that was knitted by my Oma. I lay down the blanket along the back seats and spread myself across them. At 4:30 in the morning, I finally catch some sleep. 

I wake up to rapping on the window which startles me, great way to wake up. I reach to unlock the door.

"I thought I would find you out here," I look up to see my uncle Roger's clean shaven face contorted into a half-scowl.

"Hey! Aunt Sally finally got you to shave off your beard!" I grin at him.

"Jasper, it's one in the afternoon," he ignores my comment "Your aunt was worried about you." I notice he only mentions that my aunt was worried. "It's been a while since you left without telling nobody," he gives me a pitiful look.

"Sorry Roger, didn't mean to spook anyone," I say with a calloused expression.

"Jasp, it's been 6 months now." I can see that he's worried about me. He shakes his head dismissively, "are you alright?"

"I-" My tongue catches. "I miss Sparrow so much it's hard to breathe, Roger." After a moment, Roger hugs me and kisses me on the head. It's unexpected coming from him but I accept it.

My aunt Sally and uncle Roger are like my parents. They took me in when I was young since I'm and orphan, I'm told my parents died in a car accident. My biological parent's names were Alison and Braxton, I can't miss them since I never knew them. I shouldn't be expected to miss them if I never knew them, right? I don't think so.

After minutes of silence, Roger rubs my on the back. With a small mumble of "lets go buddy," he gets into his red rusty truck and motions for me to follow him with Ol'Bessy. He starts his truck and takes off, I start my car but I don't want to leave.