Monsters Inside Him (Completed)

Chapter 30: Like a Child

Chapter 30: Like A Child

I knew there was no use in struggling. Zayn is a strong guy, much stronger than me, so all the punches and kicks and squirming almost had no effect on him. I fought anyways.

We traveled through the garage and back to the elevators. Zayn stoically carrying me fireman style, and me flailing on his shoulder, trying to get him to put me down.

Epic fail.

But, when the elevator doors were closed successfully and Zayn hit his floor number, he did actually place me on my feet. I couldn’t run anywhere anyways, because we were trapped in the elevator, but Zayn still gripped my upper arm harshly, keeping me by his side.

“Let go of me, you fuckwit.” I hissed at him. His steely gazed remained focused forward, eyes on the door and a mask of emotionlessness across his features. He pretended like he didn’t hear me, but I knew he did because his grip on my arm tightened significantly.

I felt his fingers dig into my flesh, his palm pressing into my arm. I let out a small whimper at the pain, but he pretended not to hear again.

“Zayn, ow.” I emphasized. He rolled his eyes but kept his eyes forward. The doors opened, revealing the apartment I had just fled from. Zayn kept his grip on me and jerked me into the flat, leading me to the TV room and practically throwing me on the couch.

He walked away from me, into the kitchen. I could feel my heart pounding pretty much out of my chest. Did I lose the sweet Zayn I knew because I tried to leave? I felt guilt wash over me- I had completely forgotten about his childhood, so I didn’t realize the fresh wounds I opened until Zayn reacted poorly.

I understood his pain, heck I could feel it. Still, I feel like Zayn may have overreacted a little… But that was his thing, wasn’t it? A violent overreaction.

I slid off the couch and pressed the button to the elevator. When it came I stepped in cautiously and pushed the garage floor. Nothing moved.

Of course not.

But I was expecting this. As I had learned in my first visit here, Zayn’s elevator only moves with a key.

“You know you can’t go anywhere, Darlin’.” Zayn’s voice caught my attention. I looked up to the doorway to the kitchen where he was leaning against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest.

“It was worth a try.” I retorted, stepping off the lift and back into his apartment. My voice came out stronger and calmer than I thought it would. My whole body was shaking with fear, but I somehow managed to hide it.

Well, at least I thought I did.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you mustn’t be so afraid.” Zayn said softly, staying where he was.

I guess he could see right through my act. It was kind of scary how well Zayn knows me, and how well I know him. We know each other’s tells.

“What do you expect me to say to that, Zayn?” I snapped, angrily. He cast his eyes away from me and to the floor. I sighed and sat down on the couch, looking away from him.

It was a few moments until anyone spoke.

“What do you want for dinner? I was thinking Chinese food, ‘cuz I don’t really feel like cooking and I know you don’t either.” He started a new conversation, as if nothing were wrong. I looked up at him in disbelief before getting up from the couch and walking away.

I ignored him completely as I walked by him, down the hall and to the study. I knew that he knew what I was doing, but for some reason, he didn’t follow me.

I strutted passed his giant, mahogany desk and to the window. Glancing down, the reassurance of the fire escape made me smile. I glanced behind me nervously, waiting for Zayn to show up with anger.

No sign of him.

It was almost as if he wanted me to escape.

I took a shaky breath and gripped the window, pushing it lightly.

Didn’t move.

I tried again and pushed with all of my might.

No movement.

Was it locked? I quickly flicked the little lock on top of the frame, unlocking it.

Too easy.

When I tried to open it again, it didn’t budge… The fuck? I stepped back and looked at the window with confusion. Why wouldn’t it open?

“I sealed it shut permanently. I had the frame melted into the sill so that the window can’t open.” Zayn’s voice startled me. I jumped and spun around. He was leaning in the doorframe again.

“W-when did you do that?”

He thought about it for a moment, “after the last time you escaped out my window so it’s been a little while.”

“You can’t do that! It’s a safety hazard. What if the flat catches fire? The elevator surely won’t be affective.” I began to argue.

“Then I guess you’ll just have to trust me…” He shrugged, walking away. I followed him out of the study warily.

“I’m gonna order take-away, what do you want?” He called back to me.

“Nothing.” I snapped, flopping down on the couch. Zayn rolled his eyes and picked up his phone. I heard him order into it, but didn’t really pay attention to what he was saying.

I tried to shut my eyes and go to my happy place, but I felt the couch dip down as someone distracted me.

“Want to watch a movie?”

I didn’t answer him. I wasn’t necessarily being a child in that I was giving him the silent treatment, but I honestly couldn’t talk to him right now.

“Come on, Darlin’.” He let his hand graze over my knee. As soon as I felt his touch, I shuffled to the other end of the couch.

“Hannah, c’mere.” He ordered gently, sounding slightly frustrated. I looked to my left, at the wall.

Hearing Zayn curse under his breath, I probably should have expected what was coming next, but I wasn’t paying attention.

Suddenly, Zayn grabbed my ankles and yanked me towards him. Climbing on top of me, he straddled my waist, pinning me beneath him to the couch. His hands grabbed my wrists before I could try to push him off and pressed them against my shoulders roughly. I tried squirming, but the awkward position he held me in made it difficult to move at all. He leaned down in my face so that his breath fanned across my cheeks.

“Listen to me, Hannah. I get that you’re pissed. I get that you’re scared. But you have to understand that you’ve left me with no choice. What did you expect me to do? Let you go? You and I both know that I can’t do that.” He shouted at me. I flinched at the sheer anger behind the volume of his voice.

“What did you expect ME to do, Zayn? All of my friends are gone! You scare me- you’re violent and unpredictable and angry and I’m afraid of what would happen if I...” I shook my head and turned away from him.

“You what, Darlin’? You think you can just fucking leave me? I may have gone soft on you, but that don’t fucking mean this isn’t MY town and you aren’t MY girl!” He shouted, shaking me.

“Well, right not you’re not making a great case if you’re trying to get me to stay willingly.” I muttered.

“Who said it has to be willingly? I’ve held you here before, I can do it again.” He growled. His grip on my wrists tightened significantly.

“Don’t you see you’re pushing me away?” I cried out at him, squirming a little more to get him to loosen his grip, which of course, didn’t work.

“No I’m not, Darlin’. I’m keeping you here.”

“No, by forcing me to be here and returning into this asshole of a person you’re pushing me away.” I shook my head vehemently.

“Well that’s too fucking bad because you’re my girl, you’re living with me, and you’re gonna like it.” He shook me one more time to get the point across, before climbing off of me.

“Can I at least go get my stuff from home- I mean my old apartment?” I whispered, sitting up as he began wandering into the kitchen.

“I’ll have the boys fetch your stuff.” Was all he said. I stomped off to the guest bedroom and shut the door loudly, locking it behind me. It took me a moment before all of my emotions his and I collapsed onto the bed in tears.

A light knock on my door brought me from the crying I had been doing for just about 20 minutes.

“Chinese is here!” Zayn called through the door softly. I remained silent and hugged the pillow into my body.

There was a heavier knock after my moment of silence followed by the jiggling of the doorknob.

“Darlin’, don’t play this game with me I know you can hear me.” He called through the door, sounding a little rougher. I shut my eyes and tried to imagine the dates Zayn and I went on together and how fun and carefree he was.

When I first met Zayn and I would go to my happy place, it would be at home, with my family. Now, my happy place is a memory of the two of us…

And then he was there, next to me, ripping the pillow from my body with his large, rough hands.

“It’s my fucking flat, Darlin’, I have the key.” He muttered, harshly but also quietly. I pushed myself back against the headboard. Zayn smiled predatorily and climbed onto the bed. He pushed himself on top of me, despite my struggles, and hovered above me.

“Mmm, I quite like you underneath me. I could get used to this.” He smirked, cocking his head to the side as his eyes ravished my body. I regretted suddenly wearing such a tight and sheer top today.

“Don’t hold your breath,” I muttered, causing him to chuckle. His long finger began to trace the outline of my cheek bone. My breath hitched in my throat and my hands fell limp at my sides. The power he has over me is actually disgusting.

“Actually, be my guest- hold your damn breath. See if I care.” I changed my mind, my voice coming out a little shaky as his finger trailed over my jaw.

“Watch how you talk to me,” he cautioned, clearly amused. Although his expression and smile seemed light, his eyes were dark. I could tell that my action of locking myself in my room had pissed him off.

His finger outlined my lips gently, his own gazing softening as he stared down at me. The finger stopped as his eyes met mine again. Slowly, he pressed his finger into my mouth a little bit.

Acting on instinct (ok, and maybe acting a little bit on rebellion too), I bit his finger. He pulled his hand away from me and shook his head. Before I had the chance to realize what was happening, Zayn’s lips crashed onto my own. His hands (his other one AND the one I bit) tangled themselves in my hair so he could hold my head still.

Ah, it seems like you’re getting smart Malik- anticipating my moves.

I froze under his touch (again), knowing damn well that the fastest way to get him off was to wait until he was all done. Fighting it would make him angrier and hornier.

But he didn’t stop.

I lay still as his hands started traveling down my body. I lay still as he groped and explored me, our lips never breaking apart. Although he was practically violating my rights to privacy and exploiting me for his needs, Zayn was respectful enough. He just touched me, over my clothes. There was no sexual business going on.

It was like he just wanted to feel me, not fuck me. That’s what I told myself, at least. I knew for a fact that the latter was more so true.

His hands, once they had traveled down my neck, the crevice of my breasts and onto my stomach, they circled to my back and rested on my butt.

He still lay on top of me, pinning me beneath him in our heated exchange.

Well it wasn’t necessarily an exchange because that means both people give and get. He gave all he had and I lay there like a board.

Zayn never broke the kiss though. He kept our mouths mashed together, trying desperately to get a response. He tried to conform my mouth to fit his needs, to get my tongue to fight back, to get me to do something. I didn’t.

I had to begin to breathe through my nose because this fucker wasn’t giving up.

Finally, he pulled back and stared me in the eyes. His hand swept down my cheek.

“I can take care of you, I can treat you right. You just have to let me.” He whispered softly. I looked away from him, not quite sure what to say. A sad sigh escaped his lips.

“Come on, dinner is here.” He changed the subject, scooting off of my bed. I didn’t look at him at all. My hands still trembling and my cheeks still red from our encounter.

“Don’t make me drag you.” He spat harshly. I looked over to him and, judging by the expression he wore, decided to take his hand.

We ate dinner in silence. Well, he ate dinner in silence. I sat there, looking out the window with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Do you really want to start with me, Darlin’?” Zayn asked as he took another bite of his fried rice. I glanced over at him warily and then looked back out the window. Zayn sighed.

“I suppose you’re going on a hunger strike until I let you go. Trying to make me feel guilty, are you?” Zayn didn’t receive a response. I heard a faint chuckle.

“Do you really think I’m going to let you starve yourself to death?” He asked again. I looked over at him, meeting his eyes as he raised his eyebrows expectantly at me. No, I suppose I knew he wouldn’t let me starve myself and I knew I would cave in before it got to that point. Still, I wanted to make my point clear.

“Eat your damn food, Darlin’.” He commanded, harshly this time. I shook my head at him. He rolled his eyes and pushed out of his chair.

“Fine, starve yourself. See if I give two shits whether or not you break now or later.” He snapped at me. He dumped his plate in the sink and leaned against the counter. I pushed away from the table and reached out for my plate.

A sharp stinging erupted in my wrist. Zayn slapped my hand away. I guess he meant it to be gentle, but it actually really hurt.

He grabbed my shoulders and shoved me roughly back into the hard wooden kitchen chair.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he taunted, “you’re not allowed to leave this table until you’ve finished all of your meal.” I rolled my eyes and tried to stand up again, but he held me firmly in place.

“Zayn.” I finally spoke to him, “I’m not a fucking child who doesn’t want to drink his milk and eat his vegetables. You’re not my mother. Let me up.” I hissed.

“Acting an awful fucking lot like a child.” He retorted. He let go of me and stepped back, but as soon as I tried to stand, I was forced back in the chair.

“Zaaayn!” I whined. He smirked at me. I blushed, realizing how much that behavior resembled that of a child.

“If you get up from this chair, Darlin’, without finishing your food- I will spank you like a child. Do you understand me? Eat your fucking meal before I lose it.”