Monsters Inside Him (Completed)

Chapter 47: Zayn's POV (pt.3)

Chapter 47: Zayn’s POV (pt.3)

When my Hannah finally fell asleep, I had to pry myself away from her frail body. I placed her under the covers gently and tucked her in. I resisted the urge to climb on top of her and just lay there forever and forced myself to leave, marking her with a simple kiss on the forehead before I exited.

“How is she?” Eleanor demanded as soon as I stepped out of my bedroom. I put my hands up, palms forward, and walked straight passed her. I literally began to shake the further away I went from Hannah.

I opened her legs.

I saw what he did to her.

There were finger shaped bruises on her upper thighs. Her center was swollen and bloody. Her whole body screamed out to me and I knew what Eleanor said before was true.

That asshole raped her.

A lot.

As if I didn’t fail her enough. As if kidnapping and abuse wouldn’t scar her enough. As if… As if I wasn’t compelled to kill everyone in my path before, the intensity only increased.

Not only did he have his hands on my girl, and his cock inside of her, he violated her. He took away her free will.

He had sex with her more times than I had.

And that was enough to make me send my fist straight through the wall. And again. And again.

I knew I had an audience. I could feel all of their eyes on me, but no one dared to step in and stop me. I felt blood trickle down to my wrist as I yanked my hand out of the drywall. My knuckles scraped against jagged pieces but the pain felt good.

It was a small price to pay compared to the pain that Hannah had felt.

I finally turned back around to look at the people who were watching me. Five pairs of eyes looked at me sympathetically. Five heads shaking in discouragement.

These people were the ones who decided to stay in my living room, taking turns sleeping on the couch or the floor, so that they could be here in case I needed them. These people got so little in return from me, but somehow they still came to support me and to help me heal my other half. These people were my true family.

Niall and Liam were sitting on my couch looking up at me. Harry was sitting on the coffee table leaning back, his fists tight around the edge of the table so tight that his knuckles were white. Eleanor stood, her hands clasped over her mouth, tears spilling from her eyes. Louis stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her, pressing her into his body in an effort to comfort her.

“She-she’s so fucked up. She’s…. I don’t know if she’ll ever get better.” I whispered.

“Man, don’t forget who you’re dealing with. This is Hannah. She’s just shocked, but she’s the strongest most stubborn person I know, so I know for a fact that she’ll pull through this.” Harry spoke up, his voice hard. I saw Louis nod in agreement.

“You’re a real retard if you think she won’t make it through.” Liam said solemnly. I looked over them all and let out an aggravated grunt.

But they were right.

Hannah would make it through.

Right?

“But it’s going to be a long road.” Niall said sadly, “At least from what El told us.”

“Don’t worry man, Jay paid for what he did. We didn’t make it easy.” Harry comforted. As odd and sadistic as it sounded, that did make me feel better.

“I made dinner. Would you like some?” Eleanor spoke up quietly. I glanced down at the small girl in Louis’s arms as he tried to shush her. She must have been scared out of her mind. If this could happen to Hannah, it sure as hell could happen to her. Plus, El lost both of her only friends, Hannah and Danielle, in such a short time. She must be so desperate to bring my baby back.

I never really noticed El before. She was quiet and obedient, always in the background. It wasn’t until that whole ordeal that I noticed how much us five guys depend on her. She was the glue that held us together. The buffer during arguments. She took care of all of us, not just Louis.

“That would be great.” I said quietly, offering her a warm glance. I couldn’t bring myself to smile, but I figured she deserved kindness too. She deserved to catch a break.

I wasn’t going to treat her poorly after all she had done for me.

Louis let her go into the kitchen and grab me a plate of whatever she made. She came back in a few minutes with a glass of water and a plate of chicken and potatoes. I thanked her and sat down, ignoring my friends, no, my brothers as they murmured about what was going on.

“Look, man. It’ll be a long process, but she’ll heal. I don’t doubt it for a moment.” Niall sat down next to me. I didn’t respond to him.

I spent the evening with the guys and Eleanor, even though I craved to be with Hannah. Even if she was asleep and all I could do was hold her.

But I had to talk to Eleanor about how to make Hannah better. I needed to cover bases with the guys and see how everything with our gang was working out, because I couldn’t keep on top of everything like I used to.

It was a few hours later when I decided to go back to Hannah and hopefully get some sleep. I stood up and turned to look at everyone so I was the center of attention.

“Look, guys,” I began, meeting each of their eyes, “I appreciate your help. I don’t know how to express thanks or whatever but just know that I mean-”

I was interrupted by an ear-splitting scream. Before I could process what was happening, my body took me into my bedroom. My legs ran even though my mind wasn’t working right. I heard the heavy footsteps of two boys behind me, but I didn’t turn around to see who was coming.

“HANNAH!” I roared as I slammed the bedroom door open.

I couldn’t help but think the worst. I couldn’t help but.... I won’t let this happen again.

My eyes scanned the room until I saw her tiny body curled up in a ball on the bed. Her eyes were frantically looking around the room as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“What’s happening?” Niall asked worriedly as he pushed me further into the room so he could see what was going on.

“Zayn? Zayn?” She called out for me. I immediately ignored Liam and Niall who came in quickly just in case something horrible was happening.

I crawled on the bed and grabbed her gently.

“Darlin’, Darlin’, I’m here. I’m right here.” I whispered. Her eyes met mine and I watched her whole body ease at the sight of me.

“I woke up and- and you weren’t here.” She cried as she pressed herself into me. I held her as tightly as I could. This girl wasn’t my Hannah.

My Hannah wouldn’t cry.

My Hannah wouldn’t need me like this.

My Hannah wouldn’t ever be so reliant.

“It’s ok. I’m here. I won’t ever leave you again. Ever. I promise.” Niall and Liam backed out of the room before Hannah saw them. I knew she’d freak if she did see them.

She clung to me desperately as she cried into my chest.

I’ve never wanted to cry so badly in my whole life. Seeing her so broken and changed… It literally killed me.

And Zayn Malik does not fucking cry.

I was suddenly relieved that I refused to allow my mother and sisters back into my life. It was bad enough that I dragged my girl into this, I didn’t need my family getting fucked up too.

She finally settled down after about an hour of me holding her and rocking her like a baby.

What kind of a man does this to his girl? The fuck is wrong with me?

All my fault…

“Darlin’, do you want something to eat?” I asked her softly. Her wide eyes met mine and she nodded slowly. I scooped her up in my arms and stood up from the bed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there the entire time.” I whispered to her, my nose grazing along her soft cheek. She rested her blonde head on my shoulder and shut her eyes gently.

“Just you and me?” Her quiet voice asked.

“No. Eleanor and Louis are going to eat with us.” I felt her body stiffen in my arms and immediately I knew I made a mistake.

“But, you’ll be with me. Darlin’, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” I had to start to force Hannah to at least be around the others. I was going to help her get better. I needed to help her get better.

When we sat down at the table, Hannah refused to let go of me as I tried to put her in a chair. I leaned over and set her down carefully, but she clutched my dark shirt tightly in her small fists and let out a whimper. I reached up to pull her wrists away from me, but the second I did that, I saw tears well in her eyes.

Letting out a sigh, I scooped her back up, feeling her body relax under my touch, and set her on my lap.

There was a time, way back in the beginning of all this, where I’d kill to have Hannah sit in my lap willingly. But when she refused to let go of me, it felt unnatural.

I missed my independent and obnoxious girlfriend.

Eleanor came in first. She paused in the doorway to gauge Hannah’s reaction.

“Hi, babe.” Hannah’s head snapped up and she looked over Eleanor. Her fingers gripped me tightly and I heard her breathing pick up, but other than that she didn’t react poorly.

“El made us something to eat.” I whispered in her ear. Hannah nodded, but when Eleanor came over to us, she shift further back against me. I tightened my hold on her thin waist to let her know I was there, but I didn’t let her hide from Eleanor. When Hannah’s face hid in my shirt, I brought my hand up and gently pulled her chin away.

“She won’t hurt you.” I rubbed Hannah’s back as Eleanor sat down across from us and set food on the table. I set up a plate for Hannah, but not for myself. I just ate a few hours ago and I usually ate off of Hannah’s plate anyways.

I sent a small nod over to El, who leaned back in her chair and called out to Louis softly.

The second he entered the room, Hannah saw him and began to freak out. She let out a small yelp at the sight of the other male and began to thrash against me. I turned her body around completely and gripped her roughly.

“I’m here. Look at me.” I made her focus her eyes on my face. She trembled as silent tears streamed down her face.

“It’s just Louis. You know him. You know Eleanor. They won’t hurt you.” She nodded, but the tears didn’t stop. I took my thumb and swiped it across both cheeks, catching her tears in the process. I turned her around and led her hand to the silverware.

I watched Louis place his arm over Eleanor’s shoulders as her eyes met his. I could see the tears she was trying to hold back. Even Eleanor couldn’t see Hannah in the body of the girl sitting on my lap.

Same hair, same face, same eyes, but something was missing. Her lips weren’t set in a smile or, in more cases than not, cursing me out. Her eyes weren’t bright with laughter or deep with anger. She didn’t have the same presence she used to.

It took three days for Hannah to grow accustomed to Louis and Eleanor. She no longer jumped or started to cry when they came in a room and it got to the point where they could approach her. Eleanor tried talking to her once, but Hannah kept her responses short, just like she did with me.

I was able to successfully leave Hannah alone with Louis and El for a few minutes even. But I never pushed it past 20 minutes. I didn’t want her to get upset.

She was starting to grow used to Niall and Liam. They could be in the same room as her, but only if I was holding her and they remained at a distance.

She wouldn’t bear to be in the same room as Harry, though I couldn’t blame her.

The memory of her friend’s rape was almost as fresh as her own. I knew that Jay destroyer her… And I knew Harry destroyed Claire…

I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d never be able to be around him again.

She couldn’t be around him before her ordeal either. Except, before I’d have to hold her back from attacking him. After, I’d have to hold her back from running away and hiding.

Where did my Hannah go? Was she still in there?

After two weeks, Hannah started to respond to me. I could hold light conversations with her. Mostly, she’d stay with me no matter what. Sometimes, though, she’d stay with Eleanor and help her with domestic stuff.

Mostly the cleaning because Hannah in the kitchen is a dangerous thing.

The weirdest part of the whole thing was that she did whatever I told her to. I’d say that she’d have to sit and be quiet for a little while and she’d do it. I’d tell her to go clean with Eleanor while the guys and I discuss something and she’d do it. She’d kiss me whenever I asked her to. She didn’t even fight with me.

And I missed it.

I missed the fire I tried so hard to dampen.

I missed the quick tongue and wild cursing I tried to correct.

I missed the rebel I tried to beat out of her.

I almost grew accustomed to her doglike obedience. Almost.

“Can you go fix some lunch?” I asked Hannah as Liam sat across from us at the dining room table. I could tell he needed to talk to me about something- most likely the fact that we had three people owing us a total of a hundred grand and not one of them had the money to pay us back.

But you can imagine my surprise when she said no.

“Excuse me?” My voice came out sharply, my reaction happening before I could think. I should’ve felt relieved that she denied me, but my old reaction came instinctually.

Immediately, she hopped off my lap, her whole frame shaking like a leaf. Her eyes were wide with fear.

“S-s-sorry. I’ll…. Just- Lunch, right.” She scampered off after stuttering out an awkward sentence. I stared after her in disbelief.

“Shit.” I cursed out.

“What?”

“She finally hinted to her innate rebellion and I completely squashed it. I shouldn’t have been so harsh… I should have just let it go…” I can be a real fucking idiot sometimes.

“Give her time. It shows that she’s starting to become the person she once was.” Liam reassured me.

“Now, enough about your bird. Markinson, Gregor, and Smithlin owe us some cash. I think we give ‘em a not-so-subtle warning, send out some of our guys with crowbars, and see how quickly the cash flows in…”