Hidden Identity (Previously known as Does Hope Exist??)

Chapter 5

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Have you ever woken up thinking; what is the point of waking up and living your life when you feel like you have no reason to do so? Well that is how I felt for the past week; living without a reason.

‘How does it feel to be loved?’I questioned myself. I snorted; I can talk, can’t I? I don’t even believe love exists

‘Why do you want to know how it feels?’ Alex asked in a confused tone.

Did I say that out loud again? Oh God help me. I cannot keep my mouth shut and daydream at the same time without speaking my thoughts aloud.

Suddenly my phone started ringing, playing the Korean song, ‘I like You the Best’ by Beast; a song that I absolutely love.

I was so bored that instead of picking the phone up I started singing with the song. When the song got to the halfway point, I started thinking of who could be calling and why they were calling in the first place.

Firstly, it was Saturday and then only person who would call me was Alex and she was sitting right next to me. I picked my phone up and glanced at the caller ID, it was an unknown number.

Should I answer it? I asked myself.

That is when it hit me how did my dad died. From what I had been told the last phone call he had received had been an unknown number. I stiffened; are they after me now? Do they want what they wanted from my dad from me and then kill me? Is it my turn to die?  I started panicking.

‘For God sakes Elyza, it would be nice if you picked the phone up today rather than during the summer holidays,’ Alex said exasperated.

 I could not move. I was frozen for how long I do not know until Alex was fed up of the continuously ringing phone and picked it up.

 ‘Hello, may can I help you?’ She said in an aggressive tone. The second it left her mouth, her eyes widened, I assumed it was due to the response she got from the other side of the phone line.

‘Sorry, please forgive me,’ Alex begged, drawing out and putting emphasis on the sorry.

Why is she begging? I thought.

She does not beg, she thinks no one deserves to be treated higher than anybody else unless it was someone famous or parents. It clicked then. Before I could ask anything, she shoved the phone to me with an apologetic face.

‘Hello?’ I said. It came out as a question.

 When I heard the reply I stiffened. A multitude of thoughts started to run through my mind; why is she calling me? She hates me. What does she we want? She does not call me because I was an unwanted child for her but Dad wanted me and begged her to not have an abortion. He was the only reason she used to pretend to love me.  

A tear was already rolling down my cheek. Having a mother who hates you; sad.

‘Honey, its Jay’s wedding and he wants you to come,’ the woman on the other side said in a casual tone. Jay was my closest cousin who knew my mum hated me and supported me with everything.

‘Don’t call me honey,’ I snarled at her through clenched teeth and with that, I disconnected the line.

Alex came rushing over to me. She started shaking me and asking if I was alright or not. I just nodded, not having enough strength to talk.