Soulmates (Neo Fanfic) COMPLETED

Chapter 4

Leo whispers softly to Mia. He runs his hand across her girl face and pushes her long straight brown hair behind her ear and after much persistance she finally seems to agree with him. Mia turns back to look at me and with a small smile she turns to leave with Ravi who said he'd drive her home.

Her smile sickens me. It's full of pity! What does she think of herself? Well okay yeah she's a girl but why does gender matter when you're in love? Love conquers all!

I looked over at Ravi as her greets her with a small embarrassed nod. He wouldn't look me in the eye after his confession and it breaks my heart that I didn't say yes to him. At the same time though I don't want to lead him on when I'm not over Leo and God! Leo!

He said we should talk privately to 'sort out any misunderstandings'. Yes, that's what he said. My feelings are a misunderstanding to him aren't they? I blink rapidly. I won't cry!

Leo walks towards me now that his girl friend is gone. His face is cold ; a blank canvas like always. I've never seen the pink of a bright smile or the blue of tears on it ever. He's always kept himself clean. White. Wait? Is that racist?

" What are you thinking?"

"Am I racist?"

Leo's face remains cold but I see a glimmer of bright yellow mischievous on the blank canvas.
I've always been able to see glimpses of color but never any actual paint. One day maybe.

"You aren't and what you said earlier? That was brotherly love right?"

"What do you think Leo?"

" Mia seemed to take it the wrong way."

Leo looks away slightly. Lie. He knows the truth he just won't admit it. Am I really that bad?

"We aren't kids. We're able to have a mature conversation without-" I start but Leo cuts me of.

"Yeah, that's right. When I told you before I was going to purpose today you could have told me then! You didn't have to be here now! And this? What even is this? I knew you were gay before and I accepted that but I hope you know that I can't share these feelings for you! I've known you forever. I love you too but I love you like a brother." Leo yelled.

Leo... yelled ...

He's never yelled at me or anyone before.

But... today...he... yelled...at me...

" I ruined your proposal didn't I? I'm sorry. It's my fault." I say in a whisper. I was wrong and I- I knew it wasn't time but I couldn't let him go.

I guess gender really does matter. All those thoughts of love are lies... You never forget your first love and God Dammit!I won't forget him. I won't forget today, this emotion, this feeling of hurt and guilt I feel now.

I won't ever be able to take it back and I've just lost him forever...

Leo sits down on the park bench me and Ravi were sitting on just a while before. He sighs deeply and motions for me to sit beside him.

I don't.

"Things won't change. You love me like a brother. So do I. I'll get married. Our image as idols, as brothers, as friends won't change." Leo says softly and attempts to walk away but I grab his arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Leo pushes me back and my head hits the ground...hard.

He pushed me...

I look up at the guy standing stunned above me. This guy, the Leo that used to be so gentle, so kind. The guy that has never in his life yelled at or hurt anyone...

I let my tears flow and hastily get up, apologize and run. I run and don't look back.

I wish I had stopped that day. I wish I had looked at him that day. I wish I had noticed the regret in his eyes and saw the white paint peel of the canvas I had always thought had never been painted on. I wish I had seen the layers of red,green,pink, and black that ran across it in
heart wrenching patterns with tear jerking angry strokes.