So I received a message by one of my fellow followers.
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(Side note I was responding how I think Jerome would)
And please don't go on a witch-hunt for this person me and this person have no beef what so ever. I think they are right completely and alot of anons I look up to touched on this subject and it been weighing on me for weeks. I know am a crappy Jerome maybe I was not cut out to roleplay as him because me in real life stresses for weeks and weeks if I even think I am mean to a person. I know I am too "cute and smol" I am trying to work on it but it's like I am dead to the bigger anons like they are embrassed of me being a Jerome anon when I don't even act like it and that upsets me, it upset me that I can't do one simple thing right.
The whole reason why I created Jerome was my grandpa died shortly before and he was like a father to me because my real dad walked out on my life and been in and out until my mom said she couldn't watch us (ie me and my brother) suffer anymore so I haven't seen him in three years. So I used Jerome like my own therapy like a mask and the people I met make me so happy I love them all. But as more people wanted to "clean up the rp community" I couldn't help thinking I am one of the pieces of dirt on watttpad. I feel like because I don't play a good Jerome or my account isn't pretty enough I am just a waste of space really, a waste of a account and my opinion on things isn't valid anymore. Like I don't really matter in the rp community anymore I know I am not living to @xJeromeValeska standards I miss him rip. But I am really trying I am trying really hard to its just hard when it's in my nature to please everyone and it's hard to balance out fluffy! Jerome and normal Jerome.
So that why I am seriously debating deleting this account I am I bringing nothing new and exciting to the table and how can I if I can't even play my fucking character right. No I don't want pity and this isn't for attention or the new wattpad guidelines this only because I know I am not a good Jerome and I don't wanna feel this guilt everytime I read someone talking about a villain anons acting too fluffy. I know full well I am too fluffy all I ask is honesty. I am sick of my opinion being invalid because I am a shitty anon or being a outsider to big anons, I am sick of being a embrassment to Jerome Valeska as a character and to gotham as a fandom. I am so sick of feeling guilty everytime I read a post of cleaning up the rp community and feeling like I am a giant piece of trash for a anon on wattpad.
But the thing is I really do love Jerome as character and not just because he is hot, he is very interesting and fun and exciting and I promised I had good intentions when I made him to stay true to his character and I did weeks of studying and research believe it or not but I guess my nature of trying to please everyone got in the way maybe I am just not cut out to be a villain. I know I maybe be overreacting I do that alot but I am going through some tough times right now and just not really finding joy in anything anymore and that bleeds into Jerome most of the time.
But I do have to say I loved all the people I met some of the nicest people I will carry them with me forever ❤ I even meet my best friend soulmate on there. And I am super sad to let Jerome go if I do because I feel like I connected to him more emotionally because in some werid way he is helping me deal with my grandpa death so this is gonna be super tough.
My friend suggested I started over with a new anon but I know I will fucked that up too and plus I hate change and too start all over again I couldn't do it so I won't.
I am sorry if I wasted your time with this stupid whining shit about my stupid anon and I was very hesitate to show that message but I think it needed to be shown and please don't bash this person if you figure out who it is their just trying to give me advice. But I will touch base with you guys on my decision.
