Palinoia

Chapter 28

Silence.

The only thing that was there at the moment was silence.

Neither Mari and I uttered a single sound. She remained where she was, standing behind me. My attention was no longer on her and at the moment, I cared not for her existence.

The only thing I could focus one, the only thing that took all my attention; was Thomas' soulless eyes.

I could still the remember the shock in his eyes when I chose Mari. I could still remember the way he slumped to the ground with a thud.

And it all happened so fast.

I stared at Thomas as blood began to spill from where I shot him. It was a direct hit to the chest.

I let out a deep breath as the realisation hit me.

I committed my first murder on a human being.

I killed my own kind, my own species. I chose another species over my very own. I killed an innocent man who only did what he thought was best for the nation.

He had everything. He was the first in command, wealthy and everyone respected him. But through his eyes I could tell that he was never truly happy.

Sure, he had all those luxuries but all that caused him to sacrifice his youth. He still couldn't enjoy the youth a man in his early twenties.

Still. There were times where he could always let loose like when he had drinks with Brandon. Maybe he could've lived the life he wanted.

But I took it away. I used my own hand to take away the life from someone who needed it. I ended everything he built and a future he could've had.

So how do I feel?

Once again, I was confused. And I hated the feeling.

I thought that I was finally on track with my life. Sure, I had problems to deal with but since I could express them through killing the Demolishers, I had hoped that maybe everything could work out.

I was wrong.

I crouched down, towering over Thomas' body. I thought deeply over what I did and tried to search for any remorse.

I couldn't find any. I didn't feel remorseful at all for killing Thomas. I was just withdrawn by the fact. Seeing him lying dead on the ground reminded me of the sensation. The sensation I had whenever I spilled blood.

His blood only fuelled that desire I had. I couldn't fully describe what was happening to me but I couldn't help but compare his death with the other Demolisher's that I've killed.

And to my surprise, I couldn't see any differences.

They were both exactly the same. My desire to kill were no longer just limited to Demolishers anymore but to humans too.

So could I really say I was still a good person? Of course not. I wasn't even neutral anymore. I was...I was evil. I was a monster who was worse than the Demolishers themselves.

What would Peter do if he saw me now?

Would he reject me and feel absolutely disgusted at my actions? Of course he would. I'd be surprise if he didn't. He wouldn't want to ever associate with me again.

I mean, I don't see why he needed me anymore. He had made new friends like Darius and James, he had a girlfriend who was probably his top priority, so where did I fit in exactly?

I soon widened my eyes as I remembered a flashback from before.

It was the day after the exam results and Peter and I were at the library. Mainly because I had to return Madness Within Us.

Peter stared at me with a warm smile after I returned the book, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"What are you smiling about this time?" I questioned.

"Being here ring a bell?" he asked.

I thought for a moment before shrugging. "Other than the time we first met and your frequently disturbing loud voice."

Peter nodded. "Yes. And do you remember a certain book that made us become such great friends?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What's with all the sappy talk lately. You're starting to creep me out."

"Seb! The seventh instalment of Pirate and Foes is coming out in two weeks! We need to watch it," he explained.

The librarian narrowed her eyes at Peter as a gesture for him to lower his voice. He only smiled sheepishly at her and silently apologised.

A smirk made its way towards my face as I indulged myself in the memory of my favourite childhood book.

Peter caught the smirk and his smile expanded. "See? You're just as excited as I am," he commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Two weeks you said? Aren't you going on a road trip with Brie?"

"Oh right. I cancelled," he answered.

I raised my eyebrows. Okay, I wasn't the fond of relationships but even I had to admit, I wouldn't turn that down. "Are you stupid? By the time you get back, the movie will still be in theatres. Are you sure you still want to be in a relationship?"

His smile never disappeared. "There was no way I was going to be the opening premier of our childhood book series. Especially with my best friend. There will be more events for the future but right now, it's about you and me brother."

A few teenage girls gushed and squealed, making me smack Peter over the head.

"What was that for?" he questioned.

I grew slightly embarrassed by the situation, increasing my annoyance. "How many times have I told you to quit the sappy talk? Geez, I don't know how I put up with you."

Peter laughed out loud and the librarian lost patience. We were forced to leave but he was still laughing while I tried to hold in a chuckle.

I smiled.

That was right. Peter was my best friend. I knew no matter what happened, he would always be my friend and was always there for me.

He was the reason I still kept some of my sanity. He was the reason I could still call myself a human. He was the reason; I was holding back.

I felt a cold placed on my shoulder. I glanced up and saw Mari smiling down at me. I had forgotten that she was still there.

"You made the right choice," she said.

I knew she was going to say that. And of course she thought it was the right choice because she was a victim to Thomas. Just as he was to her.

"Are you satisfied now?" I asked her with a tired tone.

"Not as long as there are still people trying to kill me," she stated.

I responded with a 'hm'. I was still staring at Thomas but I no longer thought of him.

"Here comes more trouble..." she muttered.

I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about until my I turned my head around.

My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock.

"Sebastian! Get away!"

The time has come huh? What it truly meant for you to call me friend.

I will always treasure the times I spent with you.

For I know what it truly means to call you my friend.