Palinoia

Chapter 1

Boredom.

After experiencing it so many times, I soon realised that it actually started to hurt. Even more than pain. To be honest, I'd take both physical and mental pain over boredom any day. At least it meant something was happening.

I drummed the shaft of my pencil against the wooden desk and listened to the beat that it produced. The sound was familiar; almost like a song I once heard on the radio a few weeks ago. I stared at the pencil for quite a moment. The shaft of the pencil was of a medium length and some of its orange colour had worn away due to it being used for a while. The ferrule that connected the shaft to the eraser was fine. There were no signs of any dents as far as I concerned. The tip was sharpened just the way a pencil should be sharpened. It wasn't too long; it wasn't too short. It was a fine. The pencil was a normal everyday pencil which made it average. Yes. It was just an average pencil.

Average.

"Ahem."

I merely glanced up at the board and saw that my Professor was staring directly at me. I returned his stare with a blank one and noticed that some students shot me a few glances before returning their attention to Mr. Farrell.

"Since you're paying so much attention Turner, why don't you solve this equation for the class?" He taunted.

I stared at him for a while longer then slowly stood up, totally un-fazed. I couldn't help but find it quite childish that he had resorted to High school methods of punishment but it wasn't as if affected me. What he didn't know was that I had already solved the 'oh-so-difficult' equation a while ago. Sighing, I walked up towards the front board with my back towards the entire class. The silence made it easier for me to get the task over with which was exactly what I did.

After about five minutes, I handed Mr. Farrell's marker back to him while avoiding eye contact with both him and the rest of the class before sitting back down. I was now staring forward and faced the Professor who gave me a nod.

"Thank you Turner, that will be all," he told me quickly before resuming the lesson. I listened attentively and waited for the class to end.

The class soon ended and for some reason, Mr. Farrell wanted to talk to me after class so I waited. Not that I minded because I was in no rush to do anything. The class was soon empty so I was left alone staring patiently at my Professor who remained seated. He took a sip of his coffee before meeting my stare and adjusting himself.

"I finished correcting your book report," he informed me. I gave him a nod, signalling that he may continue. "It's an A1 piece."

I didn't react much to the news which must've been expected of me. It's not like I didn't care; I just didn't feel like I accomplished some great achievement. My grades have always been the same since I was thirteen. Always obtained high grades and those grades to me were just mere numbers that were passwords needed to unlock higher education.

"Thank you," I managed to say.

Mr. Farrell continued speaking. "The year's almost finished. I hope you'll continue the course," he finished.

I scratched the back of my head, his statement made me feel unknowingly uncomfortable. "I'll look into it," I answered half-heartedly before leaving.

I shut the door behind me and let out a deep sigh. I wish I could say that I was satisfied but I wasn't. I knew if I continued the Business route, I'd follow in the footsteps of the Turner incorporation but...that would only please my parents.

My dad was an engineer while my mum was a business lawyer of the Turner incorporation. They both shared the business and the profit even when they had divorced. After the divorce, I didn't see my mother as often because she was always busy and my father died last year. Therefore, being the only child, it dawned on me that I needed to follow in my dad's footsteps much to my dismay. He was very pleased when he heard I chose to study Economics which I considered to be a dying wish but it wasn't what I wanted to do. I'd take English Literature over Economics any day since it was more tolerable.

I sat outside on the benches and ate my lunch quietly in peace. It was no surprise that I wasn't exactly a people person who had friends from one corner or another. You could even say that I virtually had no friends in my University. I didn't care. Being alone and spending time with my own thoughts was exactly what I needed. Hanging around loud and judgemental people seemed tiring and not worth the hassle. Besides, it wasn't as if I didn't know anybody outside of the University.

I stared up at the cloudy sky and huffed.

I, Sebastian Turner was your average twenty-year old male who spent too much time focusing on his thoughts than on one of life's greatest mysteries. Ever since I was born, I never really knew who I was nor I was I able to find myself. I tried to discover who I was meant to be and what my destiny was but the more I aged, the more confusing life was for me. I was a person who had desires. I had desires to do things that I never told anybody because in my opinion, it didn't seem normal. So I pushed my desires away and started to adapt into someone I thought I should be; not someone I wanted to be. However, even at the point where I was, I still didn't know who I wanted to be and I feared I would never know who I wanted to be.

That cloud looks like a kitten.

My classes soon ended shortly and I left the building quicker than usual. I strolled down the busy city. A small smile was plastered on my face as I scanned through the messages on my phone. Remember what I said before about knowing someone outside of the University? Well, you could say I was on my way to meet a particular blonde.