My Monster

Feeling Alive

He was 19.

He was in a band, trying to make it big for the past year.

He said fuck school when he turned 18.

His name-

It was Ronnie.

The drinks and the drugs started getting to my head.

My thoughts couldn't get focused.

My memories couldn't get fixed.

I didn't know what happened when I kept on drinking, 

Not knowing a way out.

But no.

I didn't want one.

I wanted to stay.

Feel Alive.

Feel Alive 

Feel Fucking Alive.

Drink.

Drink.

Drink.

Listen to his voice talk,

the raspy feel from his tongue.

Feel it ring my ears.

Ringing.

Ringing.

Ringing.

But then I realized that wasn't my ears,

when he asked if I was going to pick that up.

My phone.

Looking down, seeing the lit-up screen.

It read 'Mom'

I clicked the ignore.

Look back up at him, and said, "No."

I didn't know what happened next.

But before I knew it my brother was taking me by the arm, 

dragging me away.

"We gotta go" he said,

some chick- the same one he was banging-

following him,

her hair all messed up.

Her make-up all smeared.

her eyes all heavy with some stupid fucking smile on that face

"Bye, baby" She whispered playing with her hair.

She went over to him as he was grabbing me and helping me up,

giving him some tongue-tied kiss.

I looked over at Ronnie,

who was looking dead at me.

"I'll get you're number from your brother."

I smiled as he said this, 

Feeling it ring my ears.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"I'll see ya' around, Sky." taking a whiff from his second cigarette.

I bit my lip, 

thinking thoughts I shouldn't.

Oh, I can't wait for that.