The changing point

The love i know

Ever since i was a little boy, i was surrounded by my loving family. Or at least I thought so.
When i got into primary school i was taught that parents love their kids and husbands love their wives and stay together forever, and that children love their parents, and that what we should learn from them. "LOVE" 
I think i was taught the wrong way, because it's not an absolute fact, and that's what i hate about life.
My dad used to yell at my brother and called him names that I didn't understand, and hitting him. My sister's husband used to hit her and his daughters and my brother used to yell at mom and i knew that, love is expressed like that everyday.
I went out spreading love all around school and the streets, and i was loved back every time, and by that i knew that others love me so i give them more love each time they do.
Until I learned that too much love can kill a person.
Ever since i knew that i was only meeting two people, my guardian and my guild. And they told me everything i needed to know. I was convinced by their theory that love isn't about hitting and bullying, it's about trust and respect and other good qualities, and the ones that love others are patient. And i got that to my heart faster than an explosion of a gas station.
By the time i had a theory called love is life and life is patience.
But patient people feel pain, and keep going. But this pain that i feel is too great for me to handle.
I kept doing my best to live, and to get every ounce of love i could get, but that made me feel like a stupid after i knew that life has another thing in it.
Lies and benefits and treason and other bad terms that are summed up in the word EVIL.
I wasn't ready to try it because i had to know exactly what that is before i try it.
In high school, i met a girl that was gorgeous, pretty and popular.
By no time i started loving her, i told her so and she didn't give me any attention. And she told me that if i want her to love me back i had to do what she said and i was okay with it.
She asked things that made me look like and idiot and I always had people laughing at me. And each time i was thinking that it was all my fault not hers.
Until i learned the true meaning evil. So i tried to turn my back from everyone around me and focus on myself. Because me is the only one i truly know.
College was a new experience. And i had to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen anymore and i hated bad people so i tried to not be like them at all.
But my love for others got some people into my life for two years, and i knew that at some point, love will win and overcome evil.
But life said no to my face.
And that's exactly when i knew that everything in life has a bad part in life called pain. So to be able to survive that pain i had to go through a much more difficult stage of it.
So i started hurting myself so bad I couldn't walk at all. And only my brother used to put me back on my bed after it. And I was feeling that this will get me protection from any kind of pain.
But there was a bigger pain that was waiting for me, and that pain showed me that patience is just a dumb way to live with. So each time i see bad. I don't stop myself from doing the best thing i used to do when i was a kid.
Spread LOVE.