Poems of a not so good girl

My "best friend"

It's 1:01 am.
I was supposed to be sleeping an hour ago.
My friend sent me a picture of us.
we looked so happy, but what happened?

my heart aches and my mind throbs, knowing its all my fault.
I was the one who hurt you.

yet you still talk to me, treat me like I'm your best friend. I don't just want to be best friends.

there's the picture of us from grad, your hands are around my waist I have that goofy smile. I remember exactly what was going on. I stole your glasses and made you follow me outside, where the cloud were setting in and it was starting to rain. you know how perfect that moment would've been if you had just grabbed my face and kissed me?

I guess I'll never know.

I'm talking to someone new now, he's handsome and plays rugby, he's smart and funny. but he would never come close to you. he thinks I'm a bitch when I make a rude joke, even though I would never mean it in a harmful way.. you would know that. you know exactly how to deal with me.

I miss you, I need you to come back. I'm counting down the days, the hours, the minutes and the seconds. I need my best friend to come back.

even if you don't feel the same way as me, I just want you to know best friend, I think you would be the best boyfriend.