Loving Grayson

Chapter 4

"Then I guess we're even."

        I began to walk away, making sure to cover my face as I didn't want to show anybody how weak I looked. As I made my way down the first few steps I felt a hand grasp my shoulder causing me to to turn around. There stood Grayson who had frustration written all over his face. He ran a hand threw his hair and then he spoke,"I don't understand Emery, and that's what kills me. Can't you see I'm hurting? Just please, I beg you, tell me what I did so I can fix all this."
"Grayson you can't fix any of this. I cried over you for countless of days and thought of you for countless of nights. How could you have been so blind?" I yelled at him causing a look of pain to flash across his face.

"You don't understand how it felt loving you for four damn years."

"You don't understand how it felt when you dated my best friend."

"And you sure as hell don't understand how it felt when you broke my heart."

And then that's what caused the flood of tears to make their way down my face.
"You see I tried so so hard to stop my feelings towards you because I couldn't risk losing you as my best friend. You are the most genuine and perfect guy I had ever met. You made me laugh and smile, and did everything that made me fall in love with you more and more as the days went on. I had convinced myself for these past two years that I didn't love you anymore. That we were done and I would just forget about you but the thing is I'm not over you. I'm still in love with you and I hate myself for it." I sucked in a large breath and struggled to wipe my tears. 

 "I watched from the sidelines as you repeatedly broke my heart over and over again. And that Friday morning, during freshman year, when I saw you talk to my best friend and soon after ask her out I knew that my heart had shattered. I felt myself breaking down so I left just like that because I couldn't handle watching the boy I loved date my best friend."

I finished my speech and stood there hiccuping from all the tears. I had finally said what I had kept in for forever. I watched him as he stood there with the same look of pain followed by his next few words.
"I'm so sorry Emery," he spoke barely above a whisper, "If I had known at the time, I'm not sure what I would have done. But I know I would have understood and been there for you. You should't have ran away from your problems like you did. I didn't know how much pain I had caused you and that just shows how horrible I am for you. You deserve so much better."

A look of disbelief flashed my face. I had literally poured my heart out to him at a stupid party that I had been forced to attend and now he was telling me that I deserved someone else? Did he not get it through his brain that I wanted him and only him.
With a huff I walked downstairs and wiped away all the tears. I probably looked like a mess. I weaved through the crowded room hoping to find someone I knew. Someone pushed me from behind making me stumble over the steps. The person grabbed my arms to steady me and then locked eyes with me. "Emery are you ok?" Luke asked me with worry written all over his face. And then for the second time in a row I bursted into tears.
He first looked like he didn't know what to do but then began to drag me to the front door. We headed down the steps and then got into a car. He took his keys out of his pocket and then turned on the engine. 

My hand grabbed his shoulder and said,"Wait did you drink anything?" 

I may be a crying mess but I still knew that it wasn't safe for him or me to drive home if he was drunk.

 "No, don't worry I knew I had to drive Carmen home since she's a little wild when it comes to parties." And with that, he drove off, as I began to slowly drift into sleep.