The Thing About Fate

Chapter 4: Emotional Discoveries

My heart stops and I can’t breathe, I can’t think, and I can’t move. I fall to my knees. This cannot be happening. I’m in the house where my mom died, the house where everyone thinks I died. “No.” I choke on my words. This was my room. But why is James here? “Yes. Maxwell poured gasoline in Alexis’ room in the middle of the night and fled. Rose tried to save Alexis but neither of them made it out. Maxwell had boarded up the doors and windows. Their bodies were so burned we couldn’t even recognize them.” His cold tone made everything worse. Why don’t I remember anything? “I don’t remember…This can’t be..”  The words are hard for me to form.

“You can’t remember because you’re not Alexis. I buried Alexis ten years ago.” I see tears forming in his eyes again. “James please you have to believe me. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why I don’t remember. But it’s me James.” He turns his head from me. Getting myself together I stand up. My walls are back up. What am I doing? Why do I care what he thinks or believes? I don’t need him to believe me. “Believe what you want.” I say turning to the door. He grabs me before I even make it through the door way. Pinning me up against the wall by the door his face is just inches from mine. Time feels like it is stopped in this moment.

His hands are squeezing tight on my waist. I feel the hate he has for me, but it also feels like he is fighting back something else. Maybe deep down he knows it’s me. It doesn’t matter if he does I tell myself. His eyes are starting deeply into mine. His face is hard and set with anger. I’m not scared and he knows it. His hot breath hits me in intoxicating waves. His scent is like a drug. It smells like maple syrup and pine leaves. I guess I’ve been squirming a little because my shirt has somehow moved up exposing my midriff. His hand lands on my bare skin and something unexplainable happens. His eyes go from the deep intense blue they were to a lighter more passionate blue. He seems like he’s in shock. The skin his hand is touching feels like it’s on fire. His wolf is growling hungrily and before I know what’s happening his lips are crashing into mine.

My whole body is on fire now. This is the first time I’ve been with a male willingly. My body aches as my memories flash back to being tied up in that awful jail cell. Never again I tell myself; never again will I not be in control of my life. “It is you.” James says pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. My mind goes blank and the painful thoughts leave. I kiss him back, losing myself in him. I want to wrap myself in his scent, in his skin. What is happening to me? After all I’ve been through I have never wanted to be with a man, let alone been comfortable with one touching me. Why am I reacting this way to him? His hands are roaming all over my wanting body. Kissing my neck now he is driving me crazy. This couldn’t be more perfect I think to myself, but then I hear it, his faint moan that came in the form of a word. “Mate.” No! It can’t be. I shove him off me and his face is a mixture of pissed and hurt. I can’t be his mate. With everything going on right now the last thing I need is a mate. He reaches out to me but I push away his hand.  “I am not your mate!” I coldly say as I bolt out the door.

So many thoughts are going through my head right now. I take two steps at a time down the stairs and hit the door running. The sky is a dark purple, I was in the house longer than I thought. It will be dark soon, and the last thing I want is to be stuck in unknown territory in the dark with some crazy and horny alpha. Following my own scent I find my way back to the square. Never slowing my pace I keep racing toward the park house. Focusing really hard I try to block out my emotions and thoughts.

I guess I’m too overwhelmed to do that because I feel tears running down my cheeks. Why is all this happening? Then all of the sudden behind me I hear a loud growl. Turning around a second two slow I don’t even have time to shift before I am tackled by a large black wolf. My world stops. I am going to die, my father has found me. His wolf is on top of me about to rip his teeth into my neck any second. The tears are flowing like any ocean now and my eyes slam shut. I can’t bring myself to open them and face my father.

I suddenly feel a hand whipping the tears from my face, and a scent hits my nose and it’s not my father’s. It smells like apple cider and cinnamon. It is calming. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to scare you. You just ran off so fast earlier. I need to talk to you.” I know that voice. My eyes shoot open and I come face to face to my weird attacker from earlier. Ugh, great I think to myself. Does this guy need another beating? Not that I am really in the position to fight right now, my body and mind are still in shock from the resemblance his wolf had of my fathers. I mentally kick myself for being so emotional and edgy. My father isn’t the only black wolf out there.

“Not you again.” I hiss trying to push him off but he has me pinned down surprisingly well. He is too strong and his wolf is too large for him to not be an alpha, so I was right earlier about him being alpha of the third pack. It frustrates me that he is strong enough to hold me down. “I am sorry; I really didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to catch up to you. I saw you were crying and wanted to make sure you were okay.” He looks genuinely concerned but suddenly his nostrils flare and his eyes fill with fury. “James!” He growls hatefully. “His scent is all over you! Did he hurt you? Is that why you were crying?? Tell me what he did to you and I’ll make him pay!” The questions pour out of his mouth like typhoon, and his body is shaking out of pure anger. I can tell he is fighting a shift. Okay…this guy is crazy, and has some serious anger issues I mentally note.

“I am fine. He didn’t do anything to me. I can take care of myself.” I say in a fake nice tone. He stops shaking but is still noticeably pissed. He and James must not get along in general I conclude. That doesn’t explain his reaction to his scent on me though. “Why do you care anyway?” I ask more coldly than intended. All the anger is gone now and he stares down at me with a blank expression.

“You really don’t remember me?” He looks like I broke his heart and I actually feel guilty like I did. Why can’t I remember all the things I should? “I don’t remember a lot of things.” I say to him while trying to push him off me again. Who does this guy think he is? Is it common practice here to just attack people and straddle them while you’re naked? Wait he is naked, the thought flutters through my mind and before I can stop myself my eyes start to wander. He’s quite toned. He has jet black hair and beautiful hazel eyes. He has a native skin tone, a constant perfect tan. His wolf growls noticing my eyes, he is enjoying this, ugh what a pervert.

“I’m Tristan. We were best friends when you were..” He struggled to find the words. “Alive?” I suggest while trying to push him off me more forcefully. “I was going to say here.” He says while readjusting his position to get a better hold on me, and a small smirk forms on the corners of his lips out of amusement for my unavailing struggle. His claws had ripped my shirt when he tackled me and my breasts are the only thing covered, if you can call it covered. His eyes were the ones roaming now. “I’ve missed you.” He says bringing his eyes back to mine. “I’m sure you’ll get your memory soon.” “And if I don’t?” I ask sincerely.

 He smiles, “Then I guess I’ll have to make you remember.” Leaning down he kisses me. Fireworks explode in my head. Neither of us tries to pull away. This kiss is different than the one with James. It is more intimate. Instead of being on fire my body is tingling all over. With James it was complete passion no emotion. Am I feeling emotions for Tristan? Before I can answer Tristan brings passion into the moment by flipping us over so I’m on top. It’s like I can’t control myself, my hands are all over him, his skin sending electric shocks into my fingertips. I feel him growing underneath me and my wolf growls. He starts trying to take off my shorts and flips us over again to give himself better access. I’m about to have sex to a complete stranger that has attacked me twice. My rational thought fades fast as he starts kissing my neck. I arch myself up into him. He growls and then nips my ear whispering “Mate.” What the fuck?!?

I shift underneath him, catching him of guard and throw him off me. His body lands with a thump on the ground maybe ten feet away from me. Shakily he tries to push himself off the ground. I let out a vicious warning growl and flash my teeth. He slowly lowers himself back to the ground with his eyes connected to mine the whole time. I can tell he is hurting but I’m not sure if it is emotional or physical and I don’t care. I turn and do the only thing it seems that I know how to do; run.