C O U N T D O W N - i regret everything

impulse

* Trevor's POV *

The sunrise is somehow even better now than it was last time. It doesn't look too different, I guess just the familiarity of it left an impression on my soul. I'm sitting on the edge of the grass circle, playing with a flower. Grabbing at a petal, I admire the complexity of the flower. Such a simple thing has so many pieces. I carefully pluck a petal, silently cursing myself as I had just marked my territory on the untouched land. With nothing to lose now I continue to pluck away at the petals, playing that stupid game of chance.

"He loves me," One pluck.

"He loves me not," Two plucks.

So on until the last petal is left and I hastily pluck my fate.

"He loves me not."

...

Quickly, the mountains start to deteriorate and I'm looking around frantically for something to make this all stop. Unfortunately, I don't even have time to think of a plan before everything starts to fade.

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I wipe at my eyes to be met with the sun, shining bright into my room. I stretch and soak in the warmth the light has to offer. Although this may not be anything like the flower field, it's still something. I rip off my covers and go to stand before realizing that I'm sore - everywhere. I fall back onto my bed, grabbing at my thighs, rubbing them in a circular motion. Suddenly, I hear my mom yell from downstairs. A faint good morning echoes through the house.

"Hi" I yell back.

"My body is broken, what should I do?" I ask her, laughing a little at how weak I am.

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" She asks, concerned.

"That would be great." I say in a normal tone as she's upstairs now.

I hear the sound of water pouring and in ten minutes I'm in the bathroom about to relax all my torn muscles.

I yell a quick thank you before submerging in the hot, steamy bath water.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as the water covers my sore body. I lay there and think about yesterday.

Bella and Ava are always a good time, and I had so much fun with them. It takes a lot to beat food and good people at the same time.

I can't help but think about the looks on their faces when they saw me crying. They looked almost as pained as I felt. And that absolutely broke my heart.

I know Ava said it wasn't my fault, but to an extent it was. My mind is subconsciously trying kill me. My heart stops at this realization, also at the fact that I'm doing it again right now.

My eyes widen and I'm met with heat and a blur as I'm not even above the bath anymore. I feel no want to lift my head back up. The idea of being dead sounds appealing in the sense that I won't have to deal with anything that's destroying me. Let it win and everything will be over.

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Naomi's eyes are watering, slowly. As if she can't believe what's going on.