~*Bound*~

~*Attending my own Funeral*~

Erik------------------------------------------------------------------->

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Fingers tugged at my hair, tousling it into some intricate knot on my head. My dress of black lie on the floor, my only memento of the dreaded day. Tears flooded down my face, and again i was chastised for smudging my eye makeup. I carefully ran my hand under my deep eye circles, painted black due to lack of rest.

I wanted to scream and cry.

I wanted to go somewhere.

I wanted to be anywhere but here.

But we all want things I guess. Tyler's smug face flashes in my mind as he walked towards the coffin of my only salvation, proud of what he accomplished(sp?). I fought back more tears, but they spilled over nonetheless.

The bridesmaids must have felt some sort of sympathy, because they didnt say anything and I let the tears flow freely.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Never." 

"Promise?"

"I promise."

“Cross your heart?"

"And hope to die."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well atleast he got that last part right.The bastard.

I hate him.

My involuntary thought answered itself.

For what? Dying or leaving you to Tyler?

 I sighed for the millionth time today. I heard organs begin to play as the the bridesmaids pushed and shoved to get into their places.

I didn't even know any of them

They were cold and uncaring.

Like robots.

The thought cheered me up momentarily, then passed as i remebered my current predicament. Watching the bridesmaids walk in one by one, clutching the hands of their assigned groomsmen. I wearily looked beside me, wishing my father would give me away.

At different wedding.

Getting married to a different man,

A man who is now, special thanks to my current fiance, is dead

Unbreathing.

Unwarm.

Unreal.

As Tyler said, 'Like he wasn,t even there.'

But thats not true. He was here.

He was real.

And i will never forget him.

Ever.

Another reason why I completely despise him.

And utterly, unconditionally,love him.

 Despite the love coursing through my body, deep hatred coursed right beside it, cauing a hot/cold sensation.

How could he leave me in this sick, imaginary world?

Tylers world.

The world I desperately wanted to escape.

I rubbed my belly absentmindedly.

The only thing I had left of him.

It would probably be taken away from me too.

No. They will NOT take her away from me. I silently vowed. They will not take my last scrap of happiness from me.

One of the bridesmaids pinched my arm as she went out the church doors, grabbed the mans hand, stuck her nose up and walked out. I realized there was only one bridesmaid to go, then i was up. The last one sprung up, clutched his hand, and threw me a glance over her shoulder and walked out of the small, claustrophobic waiting room.

Did i just see pity on her face? Or was it a trick of the light? I settled with pity and smiled, despite my situation. I heard my organ chord and bravely wiped my bouquet under my eyes, threw my veil over my face, and opened the door that awaited my worst nightmare.

I was walking into my own, personal funeral.