"im engaged." thats the first thing he told me.
he is engaged, not to me. but to someone who is way better than me.
"im happy for you. thats great." i forced a smile and nodded. "i know, he is absolutely great to me."
i have to go.
"well thats great. im glad you're happy, i have to go." i got into my car and drove off. i knew he was gonna find better. he did.
he is happier and with someone who treats him amazingly.
honestly i thought i would be the one to give luke i ring, marry him and give him the babies he always wanted.
oh how i was wrong.
i love him. i will never stop.
he will always be my first love, the love of my life.
i don't think i can ever stop.
everything reminds me of him. everything will remind me of him.
i wish he knew.
i wish he knew what he does to me.
i wish he knew how much he means to me.
-
"we are here today in the loving memory of Ashton Fletcher Irwin, he was taken too soon. the life he lived was absolutely pure and delicate. he lived every moment to the fullest, he loved to prove people wrong. he liked to be with friends and loved ones. he always had a smile on his face. he may of made mistakes but he always tried to turn those mistakes around. he did what he could. it is a shame he took his life at a young age. he will be deeply missed." spoke the priest.
i cant believe he is actually gone. i grip my, now husband arm as tears fell.
i felt his lips touch my head as he whispered, "it'll be okay. im right here."
why did he do it?
what went wrong?
why did he have to leave?
who made him want to leave?
when did he do it?
how did he take his life?
i should of been there. i should of helped him.
everyones voices became echoes has a kept a conversation in my head and tears stream down my cheeks.
"now, Luke Johnson will speak some words."
don't mess up, luke.
i walked up and gripped the thing that was in front of me, i cleared my throat as i spoke softly. "Ashton Irwin wasn't just my neighbor. he was my best friend, my first love, my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak. he may lots of mistakes but he also was a great person. he smiled so much and laughed like nothing was wrong." my voice cracked as i continued, "he didn't have to go so soon, he didn't get to go down the aisle, he didn't see his first kid. he didn't meet the one. but, i know hes in a better place now. smiling and looking down at us."
i looked down and whispered, "i love and miss you, ashy."
in loving memory of ashton irwin,
July 7, 1994 - August 14, 2016
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the end!
comment you're thoughts.
