Ayam

Pride

"Are you joking?" Zim snarled. "You cannot be serious, this is that humor thing you installed in humans."

This is very serious.

"I will not," he grated, "Stoop to asking the human filthies to release me. They should release me because... because they should! Because they shouldn't treat me this way, isn't that what you taught them?"

This isn't about them. It's about you, Zim. And your pride.

"My pride? What about my pride?"

You need to release it.

Zim tilted his head back and laughed. "Release my pride. Now you ARE joking. Have you seen what they've done to me?" His voice grew harsher. "DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY'VE DONE? The humans and the Tallests together, they stripped me of everything. EVERYTHING! My PRIDE is all I have left! It's all that's keeping me together!"

Your pride will kill you.

He fell silent, staring at the floor.

"Releasing my pride will destroy me."

Silence.

"You cannot ask this of Zim!" He railed, pounding his fist against the floor. "This is all I have left! The very last thing! They have everything else, they can't take my pride!"

They can't take it. I'm asking you for it.

"No," his voice broke. "Don't. Don't ask for that. Ask for anything else."

Silence.

"ANYTHING!"

"Hey spaceboy, talking to yourself again?" A shadow fell over Zim and he tensed. Dib stood there, staring at him oddly. "Guess you've lost it, huh? Can't blame you. Can you still hear me?"

Coldly, Zim spat, "Zim can hear perfectly well, even with one antenna."

"Vision and depth perception?"

Zim gritted his teeth. His vision was fine, but with only one eye he had trouble judging distances like he used to.

"Guess that answers my question." Dib checked his watch. "Well, they'll be down to get you for the next round of testing soon. They just sent me down here to check on your stability. Questionable, as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary." He turned to leave.

A quiet murmur stopped Dib in his tracks. He stared at the door, eyes wide.

"What... did... you say?"

"Release Zim. Please."

Turning to face the alien, Dib allowed the shock to register on his face. "You... you're asking... you're not demanding?" He gave a small nervous chuckle. "The testing finally got to you, didn't it?"

Zim stared at the floor. He brought up every word like he was regurgitating stones from the depth of his spooch. "Please. Release. Zim."

Dib slammed his fist into the glass, drawing a flinch from the alien. In a measured tone, he replied, "You can forget it, Zim. I spent too much time proving that you even existed, much less trying to catch you. You're going to spend the rest of your life here, and you may as well accept it. Consider it payment for all the years of abuse I had to take from everyone who called me crazy." With that, he turned and stalked out the door.

A deep groan issued from the Invader as he sank to the floor. Pressing his cheek to the cold concrete, he moaned, "What now? I have nothing. Reduced to begging from my worst enemy, and he threw it in my face." He covered his face with his hands. "I have nothing. I am nothing. I'm not even Zim anymore. Zim would never do such a thing."

Well done.

Zim froze. "Wh-what?"

Well done.

"Did you not just hear everything I said?"

Yes. But you forgot what I said in the Records. My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. A curious warmth crept through Zim's veins, driving his shame before it. In your strength, you could do nothing. But you didn't know that. Now you know, now you acknowledge it, and now I can work in you in ways you never even imagined.

Zim gasped as the warmth reached his chest and flooded his entire being. Goopy wetness filmed his remaining eye, distorting his vision.

Well done.

The door slid aside. Rubbery-gloved hands grabbed his arms, wrenching him to his feet, but he barely registered it. All throughout the tests, he concentrated on the warmth, soaking in it, reveling it in even as the pain registered at the edges of his consciousness. He never opened his eye to see what was happening. He didn't care. All he wanted was to rest in the warmth and never leave it.

But better than the warmth were the words he had received. His Tallests had never, ever commended him, no matter how hard he tried. No matter what he did, no one took any delight or awe in what he did, not his mighty feats or his amazing inventions. Well, GIR had, but he barely counted. But this... to know that the being that set a place and a name for every single star and planet in the galaxy... no, the universe... that THAT being thought Zim had done well...

If he'd known this was the reward for relinquishing his pride, he mused, he would have done it long ago. A strange feeling welled up beneath the warmth. He considered it, confused. Hesitantly, he murmured under his breath, "What is that?" But just as quickly, he placed it. "Is that... love?"

It is love, Zim. You are discovering that you love Me, because I loved and chose you first.

"But I thought love involved lots of pain!"

A gentle laugh pervaded his thoughts. It does, Zim, but not like the time you tried to woo Tak. That was hate.

"Well," he muttered, "At least that makes some sense."

The pain increased slightly, and another voice demanded, "What is the alien going on about?"

"It's probably delusional from the pain. We injected several CCs of water into its veins... why it isn't shrieking like it normally does is beyond me though."

Zim opened his eye wide. "Ayam... are you..."

I will not give you more than you can bear.

"Who are you talking to, alien?" A scientist frowned, scribbling on a pad.

Zim glanced at the scientist, then smirked slightly. "No one. Nothing. You wouldn't know him."

The warmth receded, and pain began ripping at his innards. He gasped, doubling over. "What?"

Your pride leaves no room for me, Zim.

He howled, clawing at his skin. "No! No! Come back! Make it stop!"

Release your pride.

Zim gasped out, "Ayam! I was talking to Ayam, Ayam speaks to Zim!" As he spoke, the pain subsided to a manageable level. He grimaced.

"Ayam? Who is Ayam?" One scientist scrutinized him.

Another scoffed, "It's becoming delusional, hearing voices. Don't pay attention, just run the next set of tests."

Zim kept his mouth shut for the rest of the testing, retreating to the warmth and protection Ayam provided for him. In the back of his mind, he thought he heard screaming. At first he thought it might be himself screaming, but it didn't sound like him. It sounded... almost like...

Ayam. Ayam was protecting him from the pain, and taking it. Zim's eyes flew open and he swatted at the scientists frantically. "Stop! Stop! You are hurting Ayam, you are making pain for him!"

"Is that your new name, then?" The scientist quirked a brow. "I thought your name was Zim."

"Ayam is not Zim, Ayam is protecting Zim from pain, but he is taking the pain! You are hurting him, stop, please!"

"He's developing sympathy tactics. Interesting. Continue."

As the screams climbed, Zim howled in grief. His commander, his leader, was suffering. And there was nothing he could do about it.