Ayam

Messengers

"Good grief, Zim." Dib massaged his temples wearily. "Irkens are so literal, it's hard to tell them anything Ayam said."

"What do you mean?" Zim demanded, glancing at his co-pilot. "What Ayam said in the Records is literal, isn't it?"

"Yes, most of what he said is literal, but he told a lot of stories to make a point. It's hard to explain the story about the farmer scattering seeds when they all get hung up on what a seed is and why the birds fly down to eat the seeds, and what sort of civilization still uses such primitive food production, etcetera."

"Well that's why you're here." Zim responded irritably. "You're supposed to help explain in ways they can understand. I sort of understand it, but I'm not sure I have the right way of putting it."

It had been two days since they'd first made contact with an Irken patrol. Initially, the patrol had been suspicious of the transmission they'd received from the mutilated Irken and the alien traveling with him, but with nothing to do, they'd been just bored enough to listen as Zim stumbled through a brief explanation of what had happened to him, and who Ayam was. That, of course, led to incredulous questions, often mocking in nature.

"A voice in your head? How many brainworm eggs did you eat?"

"If this Ayam is so amazing, why haven't we heard about him yet?"

"You're saying that you learned about this Ayam as an Invader on another planet. What sort of Invader starts praising the primitive beliefs of the natives?"

Eventually the patrol moved on, no longer amused by Zim's frustrated retorts. Afterward, Zim had sunk into a sort of sulk, piloting the ship around as he searched for a potential base of operations.

"Look, it happens. Not everyone listens." Dib tilted his head. "What was it exactly that Ayam told you to do, again?"

"To tell the Irken race that he would be coming."

"Well, then, tell them that."

"I just tried!"

"No, moron. You tried to tell them about the time he CAME to Earth. Not that he's GOING to come to them. You're trying to give them the human version."

"But that's because there isn't an Irken version."

"Right, and I'm helping translate ideas for Irkens who are more interested, but until we find some that are more interested, I think your main focus is telling people that Ayam is coming."

Zim stared out the window thoughtfully. "You think so?"

"Obviously, or I wouldn't have said it."

"Perhaps that is the right approach. Very well then, we will test this new way on the next patrol we find."

"And if they laugh us out of orbit?" Dib prodded.

Zim puffed out his chest and set his jaw. "Then we keep trying."

Dib nodded, then straightened. "Hey spaceboy, is there a way of getting a lot of information out to a lot of Irkens really quickly?"

Zim glanced at him. "There's the Irken Information Network. It is similar to your internet, but much more advanced."

"Yeah yeah, your technology is the greatest, whatever. Make a video."

"What?"

"Make a video, or a hologram or whatever. Tell your message to a recording device and send it out over the Information Network. That way, it'll get out to... how many Irkens?"

Zim grinned. "More than you can count. Sometimes you're not too horrible to be around, Dib, in spite of your huge head."

"Hey thanks. Wait..."

....

"Hey, Pur, have you seen this?" Red gestured at the viewscreen in front of him. "There's something new on the Network. Somebody's impersonating Zim. Doing a pretty good job of it too. Just missing an eye and an antenna."

"Lemme see," Purple snatched the viewscreen, staring at it. "Hey, you're right. He talks like Zim, and he looks like Zim. He even has that same kind of SIR in the background."

"What?" Red grabbed it back and stared. Sure enough, behind the image of the Irken talking, a cyan-eyed SIR bounced around on its head, singing nonsensical songs. He sputtered, "But it can't be! Zim was caught on Earth, they put an end to him! How the flirk did this happen?"

Purple shrugged. "I dunno. What's he saying?"

Red rewound the recording to the beginning and watched. After a few minutes, he tossed it aside, disgusted. "Some Hogulus dung about his new commander, an all-knowing all-powerful being called Ayam."

"Hey!" Purple protested. "We're the only ones who get to be all-knowing and all-powerful around here."

"I know!" Red growled. "If Zim thinks he can undermine us he's mistaken. I'm sick of his antics, he's not funny anymore. Technology drones! Analyze this transmission. Trace it to its source and have soldiers arrest Zim and bring him to us." He glared at the screen. "This time he won't get off so lucky. Just an eye and an antenna, huh? Soldiers! Withhold food from the Devorrahs. Their next meal will be live."