Ayam

Life

Zim stood on a raised platform. A small crowd of Irkens had been chosen to witness his formal execution by the Control Brains themselves. The Brains had already sent wires into his PAK, preparing to drain all data from it. Zim refused to look up. It had only been a few hours since his outburst at Ayam, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Why had Ayam let Dib be killed? He'd known his own execution would happen, but why the Dib? What was the point? What was the meaning? Every time he thought he'd come to a conclusion, the thought would return him to the beginning of the cycle. They hadn't even completed the mission they'd been sent on. Was it all a waste?

"Ex-Invader Zim. Is there anything you have to say before your execution?" The Control Brains intoned, and the crowd went silent. Even the worst traitor got to say his final words in peace, that was the law.

Zim closed his eyes. What would he say? What could he say? He didn't understand any of it. It made no sense. But then, it never did, until he asked Ayam. But he'd screamed that he hated him. Ayam wouldn't listen to him now, wouldn't answer his questions. He might as well save his breath and not ask.

Because he might be rejected. Startled, he recognized that thought. From the dozens of times it had run through his mind as he lay rotting in the cells of the Swollen Eyeball. He had refused to ask, because it would hurt his pride, and he would be left with nothing. His pride, that left no room for Ayam.

Swallowing hard, Zim whispered, "Ayam... help me. Please. Why? Why Dib? And what do I say?"

His mind whipped backwards. Back to the pain of the testing, back to the times he was alone under the scalpel. Overlaying the memory was the sound of screaming. Ayam's screaming. Zim's pain was Ayam's pain. Zim wasn't alone. He hadn't been alone. The Ayam was there, the whole time.

The crowd murmured some. The prisoner wasn't saying anything. Was he forfeiting his right to final words?

Slowly, Zim looked up. A look of comprehension bloomed on his face. Slowly, as if realizing it as he spoke, he said, "Just because Ayam didn't save Dib, doesn't mean he couldn't have. Just because he didn't, doesn't mean he didn't care." He lifted his eyes to the Tallests, and a small smile crossed his face. "He wanted me to be able to tell you Ayam is still real, Ayam is still all-knowing, and Ayam is still all-powerful, in spite of what happened. Where was he?" To the shock of everyone in the room, Zim threw back his head and laughed. "He was there, there to take the Dib away. Away to the place he spoke of, to be with him forever, a place where no one can ever hurt him again." He grinned at the Tallests crookedly. "And you're about to send me there too. Thank you. You have no idea what you are doing."

Red crossed the room and leaned over, gripping Zim's face in his claws hard enough to draw blood. He growled, "That was the human belief. Even if it was true, it was only true for the humans. As soon as your PAK is erased, Zim, so are you. You will cease to be. There is no all-powerful being waiting for you. You're Irken."

For a moment, fear flickered in Zim's eyes, and satisfaction filled Red's face. But it drained away as the fear in Zim's eyes was replaced by a strange glimmer, a sort of knowing, almost. And even pity.

"The price," Zim whispered, "covers any who choose. That's what he said. I chose."

"Initiate PAK decommissioning." Purple crossed his arms. "He's irritating me."

The wires connecting to Zim's PAK thrummed with electricity as they began sifting through every moment of Zim's short century and a half. As each memory came up, it disintegrated. Personality traits were destroyed. Life support was terminated.