The black lever is the most inexpensive and easiest to care for out of your lever choices, though that does not mean it is cheap and you can neglect it (Paul Simon thought this when he bought his first black lever and was horribly wrong.)
Color: Black
Size: Usually comes in large. They do not grow anymore after you get
them.
Bedding: Slightly similar to the Paul Simon'd lever in this that it likes to sleep on vinyl records. The records this lever likes to sleep on are only black records. No colored vinyl please!! This lever is too goth for your colored vinyl. Please only select sad albums, such as: The Monkees Present, Mardis Gras by CCR, and These Days by Bon Jovi. This lever also likes any Bob Dylan record as long as it isn't colored.
Food: Black levers like biscuits dipped in peach tea. DO NOT USE LIPTON PEACH TEA BECAUSE IT IS GROSS SERIOUSLY TEA SHOULD NOT BE SLIGHTLY FIZZY WHAT EVEN IS THAT.
Water: Water.
Exercise: You don't exercise levers what were you thinking???
Environment: The space for your black lever should be dark. Slightly open the curtains in the window(s) that is/are near your lever's space every once in a while, though. Decorate their space with black lace.
Personality: Black levers are very misunderstood. They seem aloof and like they hate you for a while, but that is only because they are shy. You have to give them time to warm up to you, seriously. Don't just assume things if you've only had your black lever for a few weeks or months. They take a while to warm up to new people, maybe even a year. They are usually scared of humans, after all. As they warm up to you, know that they like cheesy and sarcastic jokes. They do not like small talk. Really, it's so stupid.
Hobbies: Black levers like to sleep and watch American Horror Story with you. They also like Johnny Depp movies, especially Sleepy Hollow.
YOU ARE READING
50 Ways to Love Your Lever: A Comprehensive Guide
Umor"Lever" pronounced "lee-ver" Note: Paul Simon'd lever not to scale. Pictured much larger than actual lever.
