To know your place

The hunting trip

You know I don't own Merlin. I don't get why I have to keep saying it.
Had a lot of trouble with this one. Hope you like it though.
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They rode in silence for hours until Arthur finally decided to stop for a while to get some breakfast. Personally he wanted to get a little further into the woods but Gwaine had started to complain about his growling stomach. They got to a halt at a beautiful clearing and bound their horses to a tree. Merlin quickly took the saddlebags filled with food and a blanket and started to set everything up for their little picnic.
"Apples!" Gwaine exclaimed happily and he friendly hit the young man on his shoulder. Like it did last time, this sudden touch made the secret warlock flinch away in fear.
"Alright Merlin, out with it." Arthur said. "Tell us what happened."
"Nothing, sire" answered the raven haired boy with his eyes fixed on their meal.
"The truth, please."
"Truly, sire, there's nothing wrong." Merlin said, avoiding the King's eyes.
"Merlin! Don't you think we believe you for one single second! You've called me 'sire' almost a hundred times these last few days, you apologize far more than you should, you do every chore imidiatly and without complaint but worst of all, you always keep your head down, like you're afraid to look at me." the royal said, all the while keeping his gaze on his manservant who seemed to find a certain spot on the ground very interesting.
"That's not all." Elyan added. "He's behaving exactly the same towards us. He keeps calling us 'sir'."
The other's nodded in agreement.
"Even me." Gwaine said.
"What's going on, Merlin?" The young man could practically feel their eyes burn in his flesh while they tried to figure him out. He wanted to tell them but the warning and the words from the new recruits were playing on repeat in his head. Not only that but his dream from the previous night had left him busy thinking too.
"Nothing. I... just wanted to be a better servant. That's all." he answered eventually.
"You wanted to be a better servant?" Arthur asked a little confused.
Merlin simply nodded and stood up.
"I'll go and water the horses. Enjoy your breakfast." he said, still without a single look at any of them. They all just watched him get to work, too stunned to say or do anything other than stare at their young friend. 'Why didn't he just tell them what's bothering him?'
"Merlin!" Arthur called after a few minutes. "Come and join us, you must be starving."
The black haired boy slowly made his way towards the blanket and sat himself down. He took an apple and made a small bite. When he noticed no one was saying anything, he dared to look up, just to see them all watching him.
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, suddenly uncertain about himself.
"It's nothing." Lancelot assured him. "We just wanted to make sure you were alright and well, eating."
"You do seem rather skinny." Leon said.
"You should eat more." Percival added and the others nodded in agreement. The king took a slice of cake and gave it to Merlin.
"Here" he said. "Eat this. It'll help you get some fat."
"Thanks" the young warlock replied while he took the cake from his master's hands. They all sat in silence after that until Gwaine came up with an 'interesting' story about apples. Merlin caught himself listening to and even enjoying the funny knight's tale. He appreciated this little show of normality and for a few moments it felt like nothing had happened at all.
When they were all done eating, Merlin packed everything together again and collected the dishes. There was a small river, not too far from where they were, where he could wash them. He left the clearing without a word, a frown again on his face. Arthur and the knights followed him with their eyes until he was completely out of sight.
"Do you believe him?" Leon asked to no one in particular.
"I do believe what he said." the King answered. "I just don't think he's telling us everything." he sighed while turning his head back to the group.
"Something must have happened to him, that's clear as day."
"Yes, for someone who's trying to hide it, he's actually showing a lot."
"What did you do, princess?"
"Why do you always assume it was something I did, Gwaine?"
"He said he wanted to be a better servant. You're always telling him how useless he is!"
"I never mean those words. He must know that, surely!"
"What if he doesn't?"
Merlin entered the clearing again and they all fell silent. 'Did his friend really believe all those insults? And why such a sudden change? Why now, after six years?' Arthur wondered.
They all got to their feet and climbed on their horses.
"We'll ride a few hours south." the King announced. "I know a nice hunting place with a lot of smaller animals." They all tapped their horses and within a minute they were all galloping through the forest.
The young warlock kept himself at the back of the group until his master called him over. They were just walking at a slow pace now and there would be time to talk. Gwaine had already started another tavern story which they already knew but listened to anyway. There was something about the way the knight told his tales that they enjoyed. Merlin rode in silence, next to his King and was watching the trees for any indication of danger. He may be feeling unworthy but that would not keep him from fulfilling his destiny. He would keep protecting his friends, even when they didn't see him as such. When he was sure everything was as it should be, there were no weird sounds, the birds were chirping in the trees and there were no sudden movements in the shadows, he finally relaxed and sat back in his saddle. Gwaine's story had come to an end at some point but now Elyan was talking about something that happened to him on one of his many travels.
After a while, the young man started to shift in his saddle. He sighed and groaned softly, stood up, tried another position and sighed again.
"Is there something wrong with you?" Arthur asked eventually.
"I've been on a horse all day." came the reply. Merlin's discomfort was clear in his eyes.
"Is your little bottom sore?"
The servant didn't reply but rolled his eyes.
"We're almost there!" the King announced for the whole group. And he was right. They arrived at a new clearing just a few minutes later. It was a beautiful sight. The open space on itself was big enough to make a small camp and there was a small stream running on one side of it. They were all quick to get off their horses and Merlin started imidiatly on his work. He was surprised though to see how the knights and even Arthur took their own bedrolls and saddlebags in order to lay them out around the camp. The only thing he had to do was getting everything ready for the fire. He found some firewood that was just a few feet into the forest and built the fireplace. They wouldn't need it just yet but at least everything would be ready when they returned from the hunt.
They paired off. Leon and Elyan went to the south, Percival and Lancelot went to the east and Gwaine and Arthur were going to the west. Merlin followed the latter of course. He didn't want his King to run into any trouble. Besides, it gave him a chance to scare of the animals. Although he wanted to be a better servant, he still disliked seeing those poor little things get killed. The royal thought of him as clumsy already anyway. And so they went into the forest, in search for rabbits and other small animals they could use for their dinner.
Gwaine and Arthur obviously caught nothing. Just when the King was about to shoot a rabbit, Merlin bumped into him. The sudden noise and movement made the unexpecting prey run off.
"Merlin!" the royal shouted. "We're hunting, you know. It requires speed, stealth and an agile mind." He tapped the boys head to make his point more clear.
"So you get by on two out of three." the raven haired boy replied. It was nothing more than a whisper, not even meant to be heard but Arthur did hear it. He didn't react however but a small smile played on his lips. This was the first sign of normal behavior he got from his servant in days. 'My plan is already working.' he thought satisfied.
Leon and Elyan came back with two rabbits and a pheasant. It wasn't much but they would have some meat at least. Percival and Lancelot had caught one rabbit but were able to find some berries they could eat. They still had enough food in their saddlebags too so they didn't complain.
Merlin started to clean the animals. It was still a little early to eat but it would take a while to get the four little beasts ready to eat. He was halfway with the first rabbit when he noticed how Elyan, Gwaine and Percival had taken the other animals to clean them. The young boy couldn't help but smile at this. They were actually helping him. Him! A mere servant! 'Maybe they do care?'
Meanwhile, the normally reserved, Lancelot was telling a story about his youth. He remembered hunting with his father and told about the first time he had to skin a rabbit himself. The knight showed the facial expressions he must have had while doing that and all six of them started to laugh. Even a certain young, black haired man was chuckling. They all noticed how Merlin was slowly getting back to normal. Whatever had happened, it was clearly fading to the background while they were together in the forest.
The evening went on like this. The knights told stories, both sad and funny. Merlin made a stew with the fresh caught meat. He gave them all a full plate and there was still some left. He hesitated for a second but right when he wanted to eat something Arthur asked, "Have you watered and fed the horses?"
"Well..."
"Come on, they must be starving."
"But..."
"On your toes."
Merlin bit his lip but got up and walked over to the horses. Right now, when he had started to feel like himself again, when he had beginning to think that sirs Ulrick, Ethan and Thomas had been wrong, now something like this happened. A single tear ran down his face but he swiftly swept it away. He was not going to cry about this, for God's sake!
"Was that necessary?" Lancelot whispered.
"It's just a joke." Arthur defended himself. Normally jokes like this did work. It was just bantering after all. Right?
When the young man returned, the knights were already done eating. They stood up and brought him their empty plates.
"It was lovely, Merlin, thanks." Gwaine said, placing his hand on the man's shoulder.
"I loved it." was Percival's comment.
"Me too." followed Leon.
"You got to wash those." Arthur said, motioning to the dirty dishes. "And this too." He placed the almost empty pot on top of the plates.
"Thanks." Merlin answered dryly, making sure he didn't show any of his emotions.
"Ooh, there's still a bit left." The King remarked. He took the spoon and scraped the last bites out of the pot. He ignored his friend's saddened look as much as he could and made satisfied noises.
"Good, was it?" the black haired boy asked.
"Hmm, a little bit salty though." the Royal replied.
Merlin lowered his head and turned towards the stream. He bit back the tears that were threatening to leak out of his eyes again.
"Merlin." he heard Leon chuckle and he turned around again.
"There's another plate here." the knight said laughing while he showed the full plate of delicious stew. The other knights started to laugh now too. Merlin managed a soft chuckle.
"Here, I'll take those." Gwaine said while taking the dishes out of his friend's hands. The boy wanted to protest but before he could do that, Leon had already given him his plate.
"Sit down, Merlin. Relax now you can." Arthur said, pushing his friend gently down next to the fire. The young warlock looked at the royal like he had just grown a second head but started to eat anyway. He was hungry after all.
They spend the evening with talking. One by one they told each other stories but not the tales of things that happened. They had started to make up stories about wild adventures, spooky castles and beautiful maidens. And apples, lots and lots of apples. Merlin sat back and listened. With every new story he felt better and more comfortable between the knights. He had recognized the thing with the stew as a joke now and his mind was at peace. This change of mind was there for all to see because the black haired boy was smiling the whole time. Really smiling.
The moon had already climbed high in the night sky when they decided to get some sleep. Lancelot would take first watch, just in case. They all settled down for the night. Merlin crawled under his blanket and smiled to himself. He had a warm, fuzzy feeling inside when he thought about their day. He had seen the concern in the knight's eyes. He had seen how they made sure he was alright. And Arthur had organized a prank, like he always did. They were his friends and he was theirs. He was almost sure now. While thinking about this, darkness slowly took over and he drifted into a comfortable sleep.
A few feet away from the warlock lay the King. He thought about how he had seen Merlin's behavior slowly change back to his old self. He felt really proud about himself that he had accomplished this. He too fell asleep with a smile on his face. Everything was alright again.
They all got out of bed when morning arrived. Merlin made breakfast and wasn't surprised when the knights started helping out. After their meal, while the servant went to do the dishes, he noticed how they all put their own stuff away and on the horses. They were practically taking all his chores away. He smiled brightly. 'How could I have ever believed those three?' he wondered.
It was already late in the morning when they decided to head back to the castle. Merlin dreaded the moment they would arrive again but he didn't say a word. There was something humiliating about all that had happened. And he feared about what his friends would think if he told them he actually had doubted them. The ride back to the castle went on peacefully. They didn't get into trouble at all which they all were very grateful about. They could do without any ambush, for now.
They rode on to the courtyard by nightfall.Merlin was riding at his king's right and was laughing with Gwaine.
"Seriously! If we had to ride any longer I would have passed out with hunger."
"You're always hungry, Gwaine."
"Yeah, so what?"
Everyone rolled their eyes. The sturdy knight and his food. Someone shouldwrite a story about that. They all got off their horses and handed them to theservants who had been waiting for their arrival.
"Don't say you didn't think this was fun." Arthur said while he placed a handon Merlin's shoulder. The young boy laughed and shook his head.
"I still don't get why you like to kill innocent animals, Arthur." he replied witha faked hurt expression on his face. The King ruffled his hair affectionately."Oi!" the secret warlock shouted and he started to laugh again.
Suddenly he noticed three men, watching him from the shadows. His face fell andhe began to shake. His nightmares returned to him at top speed and he wished hecould disappear.

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Phoe-nix: I'm glad you still like the story! Your comments made me laugh. Thank you for that. Also thank you for your continued support!
beautygirl701: Thank you for your reviews. I'm glad you like the story!