The Universe of Gas

A Cheeky Carriage Ride

Lady Clarabelle shifted in her seat, her dress rustling quite loudly. Uncomfortable in the far too small carriage, Lady Clarabelle was surrounded by her stiff crinoline dress that barely fit through the doorway of the carriage. Exhausted from a luncheon, the noblewoman wished to simply relieve herself in her estate. However, the pastries were quickly passing through her body and she felt the need to expel. But, as a well-bred lady of society, she forced herself to ignore the grumbling of her stomach.

But alas, it was in vain. With great horror, the lady's bum produced a great wind, causing her dress and petticoats to quiver. She promptly clenched her cheeks, quick to place a frilly hankie upon her nose. Lifting herself ever so slightly, Clarabelle blushed and attempted to keep an air of elegance.

Unfortunately, another wail from her stomach arose, as the air forced its way down. Another fart arrived, far more foul than the last. Then more and more came. The lady's dress wavered, protecting her none from the smell. The stench penetrated through her hankie and suddenly, Lady Clarabelle could sense the filthy aroma. "Oh!" She exclaimed, as she sniffed deeper in her hankie.

She sat her butt on the cushion, wiggling it down until she felt her cheeks covered. Another whiff came and her bum vibrated against the fabric of her dress. The lady's hankie no longer served as a haven for her nose. She placed her hankie on her lap and quickly whipped out her fan. Betraying nothing, she delicately fanned herself, continuing to pretend that she did not produce such smelly sounds.

Meanwhile, her carriage driver drove back to Clarabelle's estate. Her toots were loud enough for him to hear, and he thought gladly of them. If the lady of the house was able to fart, he should not hold back as well. He grunted as a blast of wind escaped his rear.

Clarabelle's ear perked at the noise, and she immediately pointed her nose into the air. How dare he loosen himself in my proximity! She thought, puffing out her rear and straightening her posture. However, as she did that, another wet cloud came from her posterior. The driver heard this, and again, he farted with no hesitation.

Clarabelle whined, repeating her process, unknowingly causing a cycle. The lady would fart and then, so would the driver. She would stiffen and show her disdain, but cause more air to be pushed out of her anus.

Eventually, they reached the large mansion. The driver pulled to a stop, and hopped down from his seat. He rushed to open the door and was greeted by a rather unhappy Lady Clarabelle. "You horrid creature!" She cried. The confused driver looked up at the dress of a woman. "I beg yer pardon, Miss?" he asked. She sniffed, her hankie again on her dainty nose. "How dare you...loosen yourself near me!" she said, peering down at her driver. "What do ya mean, Miss Clarabelle?" he said, scratching his cap in thought. The lady scoffed and made eye contact with him. "You know exactly what I mean! What disgusting sounds you produced! How completely vulgar! I expected a bit more decorum from you, despite you being a commoner," she stated, primping her rear up slightly.

The driver put two and two together. "Oh! You mean the air biscuits I made. Well, Miss, I only did that bec'use yous farted as well!" he grinned, believing that would resolve the issue. He was wrong, however. Lady Clarabelle made a sound of indignation, fluttering her hand in front of her face. "I, Lady Clarabelle Sinclair, would never produce such things. You surely must have something wrong with those ghastly ears of yours,"

The driver gave the lady a funny look. "No, I'mma sure you did. My hear'ng is good, Miss and I's heard a fartin' noise from the carriage," The lady sniffed within her frilly hankie, in denial of the truth. "Absolutely not! Do you take me for a peasant, who has no limits of propriety? No, I am a lady and as such, am unable to act in such a manner,"

The driver merely chuckled. "Just cuz yous a lady doesn't mean you can't fart. You and I, why we's got the same type of bum! And those trumpeting blasts have got to be the loudest I's ever heard!"

Clarabelle blushed furiously.
"How dare you! I am a-"
Clarabelle's stomach suddenly lurched in full motion, pushing the greatest bubble of air out her lifted posterior:

FFFFAAAAARRRRRTTTTTTT

Clarabelle's face suddenly grew quite red as the stench surrounded her. The driver snorted, laughing so loud that he also farted. The lady stiffened, blushing and pinching her cheeks all the way into the estate.