The Universe of Gas

Dual Nature

(Got inspiration from this book called The Meaning of Disgust. There was this little section about an aristocrat having a filthy peasant on his back. Go check it out: it's on the Google books preview toward the end).

Lord Edward Sterling was a proud member of the gentry. Perfectly coiffed hair, tailored suits, and the most gentlemanly attitude made him the ideal aristocrat.

Except now Sterling had a problem.

A most unavoidable one.

You see, Sterling was completely bound to a peasant.

Some years before, a fortune teller had cursed Sterling for his "pompous and upright haughtiness". And for that, he was bound by a small chain on his wrist to one of the world's most filthy commoners, never more than 3 feet apart.

Oh how the lord tried to break the chain, wash the commoner, teach him some basic etiquette, but it was for naught! The peasant remained as dirty as he did the first time Sterling was bound to him.

Sterling could not get used to the smell, a part of the curse he was sure. And he knew he would never be able to reintegrate into his high society life with such a burden on him.

Commoners were to be at a distance, not chained to a wealthy gentleman like Sterling. And for good reason.

The peasant, or Fred as Sterling would come to find out, was unbearably vulgar. He constantly burped, farted, and secreted things that undoubtedly horrified Lord Sterling. If Sterling could permanently pinch his nose, he would.

The aristocrat was not without daily anxiety. Sterling fretted constantly about sitting in his fine furniture with Fred nearby. Sleeping was a struggle indefinitely, and Sterling hated being attended to by his servants with Fred in close proximity.

But some days were worse than others.

Sterling did feed Fred, albeit lesser quality food than his own meals. But Fred happily ate everything put in front of him. And sometimes complications would ensue.

One morning, the lord and his peasant were taking breakfast in the privacy of one of the drawing rooms. Sterling was most elegant, of course, his back upright, his gloves on, and his eating manner quiet. But Fred's connected wrist made it difficult for Sterling to properly use his silverware.

They tugged against each other and Sterling pressed his lips together in distaste.

"So...*munch* what's the *munch* plan today?" asked the oaf between intervals of shoving food into his mouth.

Sterling rebuffed him, giving him a slight hrumph of displeasure.

"Nothing formal. I need a bit of rest from last week's fiasco," Sterling said with annoyance.

"Hey! That lady was being super rude!"

"So your rebuttal was to promptly release your noxious smell upon her?"

Fred shrugged.

Unbelievable!

The breakfast ended with a great deal of tension and the two men relaxed in the estate library.

Fred was sitting on the floor, nearly bored out of his mind, while Lord Sterling had selected a book to keep him occupied and sat upright on his plush chair.