The Kids are Fine | Kellic (boyxboy)

CHAPTER TWO | You won't see me

KELLIN'S P.O.V

I felt so, so sleepy. My body suddenly felt like it was falling and right before I could hit the ground, I gasped and my eyes flew open. On instinct, I sat up a little too quickly. The room was blurry and after a second, I realized it was dark. Darker than it had been before I fell asleep... Or, was I asleep? It didn't feel like I was fully asleep. It felt like I had just blinked and time had passed, and the sun had gone down, and things had changed. Just after closing my eyes for a second. Reality told me that I had been laying here for at least a couple hours. I picked my phone up from the edge of the bed trying to turn it on to see the time. My headphones had fallen out of my ears. The sun was no longer lighting up my room. My phone was dead. Good. I don't need it where I'm going, anyway.

I stood up from my bed, instantly feeling dizzy. I caught myself, placing my hand on my bed to keep me steady. I smiled to myself. I felt good. Really good. Like I was floating. I stand up straight and look around my room. I head to my closet and grab my school bag that was still resting against my closet door. I unzipped it and dumped everything out. Books, folders, notebooks, pencils, pens, papers and worksheets that have yet to be graded and never will be. Everything lays there, scattered on my floor. I take a deep breath, standing up and throwing one of the straps over my shoulder. I make my way through the hallway, trying to get to the stairs without falling over. The way everything looked, was like... a movie. Everything seemed to be moving faster than I was actually walking and the walls seemed to be passing me in a blur. And It was like I had tunnel vision. Like when you stand up too quickly and everything in your peripherals goes black, and you can barely see what's in front of you. I blinked hard and I could see a little better. I held on to the rail as I made my way down the stairs. I don't know how fast I was moving, or if I was moving really slowly.

Suddenly, I let out a laugh. Once it started, I couldn't make it stop. I just stood there at the bottom of the steps and laughed. I can't believe I'm doing this. I shook my head and tried to make it stop, but I kept laughing.

"Wow..." I whispered to myself.

I took a deep breath and composed myself, walking all the way to the basement, where my dad kept all his liquor, and grabbed whatever would get me drunk the quickest. Not that I really needed it. I already felt loopy as it is. Im just trying my best to feel as little as possible. The bottles clanked against each other as I stomped up the basement steps, making m way to the front door. Once I was outside, I closed the door behind me, but didn't bother locking it. Neither of my parents were home yet. No surprise there. I wasn't upset about it though, i'm used to it. It didn't really bother me at all, and tonight, I was thankful for their absence.

I didn't want to take my car. I wanted to walk. I don't even know if I could drive properly right now. There's a reason they stick those little 'do not operate heavy machinery' labels onto pill bottles. I scoff to myself.

I shove my hands into my pockets. I have a jacket on, but I'm still cold. Its a dark blue outside. The sun has gone down, but not all the light has quite left the earth yet. I can still see all the colors of the leaves that blow widely at my feet. I step on them as I walk, they crunch beneath my shoes. The cold breeze makes the air smell clean. I can feel my nose getting colder, the longer I continue to walk, and its not long before I start sniffling. My eyes feel watery as I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my jacket and I tell myself its my allergies, and not tears. Because I'm not sad. I'm not.

After what feels like a long time, I get to the cemetery and thats how I know I'm almost there. You have to pass the cemetery to get to the tracks. I walk alongside the gate, running my finger over the holes in the fence as I go, passing all the gravestones, wondering where they'll burry me.