Night Job

Chapter 1

"This time you've gone too far," she said almost in tears. "It's bad enough I have to waitress all night at the Kat Club without having to come home and find you prancing about the apartment playing queen for-a-day. Brian when are you going to grow out of this thing?"

I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar again.

Actually, Sylvia had taken the discovery of my secret predilection quite well. The first time she almost had me move out, but at the last moment she relented.

I guess I still have my charms.

Anyway, I knew what the real issue was. It was the fact that I'd been unemployed as an actor for the last six months.

Believe me, life isn't easy for a single-white-hetero-male-closet-transvestite.

"But Sylvia—just look—I've cleaned, dusted, and straightened the entire apartment, and your dinner is ready in the oven."

She just shook her head saying "Just my luck, I'm looking for Mr. Right and instead I get Little-Suzy-Homemaker."

"Besides I missed you," I said, giving her my patented bedroom eyes.

She finally smiled.

"You know," she said. "I'm always amazed. You look exactly like a woman. And a pretty one too. Honestly, I don't know why I put up with you."

Well, I didn't know why I put up with me either, so we had that in common.

I changed into my bathrobe while she was eating her dinner in the kitchen. I knew she'd feel better after a nice home cooked meal. Her life wasn't easy and I certainly didn't help things.

After she was done she showered, while I cleaned up in the kitchen. If there's one thing I can't stand it's dirty dishes in the sink.

When I was done I turned out all the lights and knocked softly on the closed bedroom door. I was thinking maybe she was already asleep, but when I opened the door there was Sylvia, lying naked on the bed, with the sheets pulled back.

"Come on, Tiger," she growled. "Let's go to bed."

So I jumped into the sack with her and reminded her exactly why she did put up with me.

The shit really hit the fan the night Sylvia twisted her ankle on the way home from work. The doctor said it would take at least three weeks for it to heal—if she stayed off it that is. There was no way she could go to work and we were already behind on both the rent and the credit card payments.

Sylvia sat up in bed all the next day—in a panic as to what to do. I did my best to keep her comfortable. I knew she'd think of something. She always did.

It was early that evening when I picked up her bed tray, the snack I'd prepared for her still untouched. I asked her if there was anything else she needed, gave her my warmest smile and walked primly out of the room.

I'm sure that's when she got her brilliant idea, because it was right after that I heard her talking on the telephone. I was in the kitchen so I couldn't make out what she was saying.

When I came back into the bedroom she was beaming and said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news."

"Okay," I said. "What's the bad news?"

"I got you a night job."

"But that's great! What is it?"

"You guess—but I'll give you a hint — it's at the club."

"Okay. I'm a bouncer?"

"No, Silly" she laughed.

"Let's see," I stalled. "You know I promised myself I'd never be a waiter and show people menus. So it can't be that.'"

"Don't worry, you aren't a waiter and you won't be showing anyone any menus. The club doesn't have a kitchen."

Then it dawned on me. Sylvia had always been a very creative thinker but her latest scheme really took the cake.

"Are you crazy?" I yelled.

No—clearly Sylvia was not crazy—it was me that was crazy because a couple hours later here I was getting all dolled up to play the starring role in "Glen or Glenda" as Glenda

Okay. I'd give it the old college try—but I'd still keep looking for a real job.

Oh yes, the other good news was that she said I got to wear her new outfit.