I'm where I don't want to be. I look around to see the scene I hate. How am i back in it? I become the scene... Something like this was bound to happen, I knew. I was still surprised though. As much as I don't want to relive this moment... I do.
Everything that happened, happened. Even little details I noticed. Down to the creases in my mothers beautiful face. The sound of the plastic cup hitting the floor, the ugly water, and dead flowers falling out. A small round table is lying on the floor. I fall backwards and on the ground. Attempting to stand, I grab the curtain to help me up. I end up dragging the thin red curtain down from its position over the small square window, ans onto the floor next to me. My lips tremble, and I desperately want to cry. But I don't. Instead, I look up defiantly. Wrong move.
__^__^__^__^__
I wake up with a gentle shake. I see Ian sitting at the edge of my bed, holding my shoulders.
I sit up and crash body into his and putting my arms around him letting all the tears come out. He holds me. When I pull back, Ian gets comfortable on the bed and I snuggle up to his huge chest.
"Your shirt is full of snot now."
"Its okay Lil."
"No." I sniffle, "It's not! Your shirt...I ruined it."
"Sweetie, it just needs to be washed."
"No-"
"Lil, It's okay, everything is okay."
When the tears stop, I ask "What are you doing here?"
"I actually couldn't sleep and just figured I'd bother you. When I came in through your window I seen that you were crying on your sleep. I've been trying to wake you up for the past, like two minutes."
I don't say anything.
"Are you going to tell me what you were dreaming about?"
I shake my head. I don't want to think about it.
Ian sighs. "Then at least get some sleep."
I nod. He holds me closer and I close my eyes, only to immediately open them. What if I dream it again? Ian must know what I'm thinking because he says "It's okay. Sleep. I'm here."
I obey.
_^_^_^_
The next morning I wake up in Ian's arms. He's still asleep. I try to wiggle out without waking him, realizing how heavy his arms are. My attempt fails and he wakes. Eyes still closed, he stretches and yawns. Then he looks to me "Morning beautiful!"
I smile. "Morning Ian."
"Are you okay?" He asks on a more serious note.
"Yeah... I'm good." I'm lying, and I'm sure he knows it but he just nods "That's good."
"I have to go though." He says "I promised some guys from the basketball team that I'd play a few games with them today."
"You're on the basketball team? I thought you did football."
"I did but football season is over. Now I'm in basketball."
"What? No baseball and soccer?" I teased
Ian smiled, " Yeah, I did those sophomore and junior year."
"Of coarse you did."
Ian's smile fell, his face showing concern, " Do you want me to stay? I don't have to go you know?"
I smile. Sweet Ian. "I'm okay Ian. Just go."
He nods and gets up from the bed to walk to the window.
