How to Save a Life ✓

V: In Which She Rejects Him

CHAPTER FIVE

It seems that I have a talent of getting into unfortunate and awkward situations. After our group therapy session ended, Noah and I go to the nearest Starbucks. Me being the shy girl who doesn't like to speak unless spoken to, stays quiet which only makes things weirder.

Again I ask; why did I agree to this?

While I'm looking at everything but him, Noah seems to have a calm composure. He drinks his black coffee with ease as if he doesn't notice the tension that I felt.

Guess, it's just me then.

"Let me get this straight," I start "you brought me here because you wanted us to be friends yet you aren't saying anything. Am I missing something?"

He thinks for a moment then replies, "No, you got everything right."

I nod and went back to drinking my tea. Well that conversation starter failed. Maybe if I try again it'll be better.

"Why do you want to be my friend anyway? I mean, we only met two days ago and it wasn't under the best of circumstances."

He answers immediately, not giving it a second thought. "I think you're interesting."

Now that's the part that I don't understand. Nothing about me is interesting. Unless you call awkward conversations every time we talk interesting.

"Yeah you said that already."

He huffs in mild annoyance and thinks of another response. Maybe if I can keep annoying him he'll leave me alone. I don't need any more friends.

His annoyance doesn't last long, and he soon goes back to a small smile. He smiles a lot. "Fine. I thought you might need a friend. You seemed lonely."

I needed a friend? Who does he think he is? If he thinks that that is a legitimate excuse then he is very wrong.

"I'm not a charity case and I don't need your pity. I'm perfectly fine on my own."

Glancing over at the clock to my right, I saw that it's almost seven o'clock. I had to get home by 7:30 and I'm still pretty far away from my house. If I leave now then I might just make it. Finishing the last sip of my tea I grab my sweater and say my goodbye.

"Listen, I have to go but thanks for the tea. I'll see you at school."

When I was getting up he begins to get panicky and says, "This isn't how it was supposed to go. I don't think that you're a charity case. I genuinely want to be your friend."

I can't tell what exactly he's thinking but I can tell that he wasn't lying. I have absolutely no idea why he would want to be associated with me but I'll spare him the pain and embarrassment.

"You don't want to be my friend. Trust me, it won't work out for you. You probably have a lot of friends already so you won't lose anything. I have to go home, but thank you. For everything."

Giving him one last smile, I take my bag and left the cafe. Since I don't have a car I begin walking home.

I may have lost my only chance at having a friend and I'm strangely not okay with that.

******

It's eight o'clock when I finally made it up to my front steps. I know I'm already in trouble for being late but I silently debate if I should go somewhere else. Quickly dismissing the idea, I head towards the door.

I have nowhere else to go.

When I open the door, I discovered my mom spiraled on the couch sleeping. Upon closer inspection I notice three beer bottles next to her and a bottle of whiskey.

Of course. There's never a moment when she wasn't high or wasted. Or both.

I silently rejoice at the fact that she wasn't awake. I may finally be able to get a night of sleep. Slipping into my room, I locked my door and reached for a key in my pocket. Opening the drawer, I took out my camera.

The camera's old, but it was the only thing I could afford. I had to work for months, secretly saving a little bit of my earnings in a drawer so I could buy it later on. The rest I had to give to my mom because if I didn't, there would be consequences. Eventually she found out I was hiding money from her, so I had to give it up and start the process over again.

Looking over the photos, I find peace in the pictures. Photography's my passion and it was one of the only things that kept me sane. I didn't have a chance to take that many pictures since I've gotten it but I'll treasure the ones I have forever.

One of my personal favorites is of a family in a park. I took it in secret when they were playing football but it's beautiful nonetheless. They all have someone they could lean on. They have a support system and I most likely just scared mine away.

It's for the best though. Everyone eventually leaves anyway so I'm just protecting myself.

Yeah, that's the reason.