Shall We Dance?

Chapter 12 - Meeting at the Diner

FER

I down my second black coffee and consider taking another dose of pain killers as well. Last night's show and the added worries left me in a worse condition than when we do our show.

I shouldn't have checked my phone during the rehearsal. I had one message from Javi, the first communication he sends me after all this time.

Stop sending me messages. Don't you get it? You are an embarrassment.

Is that what my kid really thinks of me? It felt like a bucket of cold water over my head. I couldn't think about anything else. Lost about what to do, I sent a message to Denise asking if we could meet today.

When it was time for rehearsing our dance, my muscles became stiff as my son's words kept repeating in my head and finding the beat in the music was impossible. Rehearsal ended up being a disaster and I felt a panic attack building up so I left the stage and went to my dressing room where I locked the door. I didn't want anyone to see me cry.

When I calmed down enough, I got dressed and told the makeup ladies that I had an allergy which they believed as they happen often. Then I met with Madison to apologize and could feel everyone's eyes on me, probably thinking how easy it would be to win from us seeing how badly I did before. I didn't mean to be so harsh with Madison, but she can't know how weak I am.

The moment the studio filled with people, I became very tense and my shoulders started hurting. Makeup was also pissed with me. During each commercial break, they had to come and powder me. I blamed the lights for my sweating, it was easier than admitting it was stress.

When our dance came up, we walked towards the stage entrance and Madison held my hand.

"You can do this, Fer. Are you nervous?"

"Never," I scoffed, trying to hide my real feelings while she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, right," she put on a big smile as our names were announced.

I concentrated solely on the music and tried my best to block everything else. I concluded I did a good job as I didn't mess the count or stepped on her toes.

That asshole Kevin put me on the spot during the live show and asked why I left in the middle of the rehearsal. I smiled at the camera and said in a cheeky way that it was for me to know and the rest to find out. I saw something in Kevin's eyes I didn't like.

The judges' feedback included stuff such as stiff movements and no connection with my partner. It wasn't a good job after all and maybe Javi is right, I'm an embarrassment.

We returned to the green room, and I didn't look at Madison again. Only when the camera was on us, I would smile and wave. Otherwise, I was sulking about my performance and going back to worrying about my private matters.

Ale sat next to me, but we didn't talk. He knows me well and keeping me company is his way to show he cares. He had a good performance. His eyes were glued to Cadence during the whole dance, and he didn't mess up.

When the show was over, I left the group as quickly as possible and hurried to my car. I then got a message from Denise congratulating me on my efforts and confirming we could meet today.

"Stop frowning like that, you will get wrinkles," Denise smiles cheekily as she sits in front of me. "Did you order already?"

"No, I only had coffee. I was waiting for you," I hand her one of the menus. "We need to talk."

"We could talk at your house when I pick Javi. Why did you ask me to come to the diner?"

"I didn't want Javi to listen. He sent me this," I turn my phone towards her.