Shall We Dance?

Chapter 10 - Hearing Aids

FER

Shit! I'm worse than I thought. After seven days of lessons, I can't get this right. Madison reassures me often that this is normal, but she's probably being polite.

"Sorry," I apologize for what must be the tenth time today. "Are you okay?"

When we started today's lesson, I stepped accidentally on her toes and saw her shaking her hand in pain after I crushed it during a turn. But this is new... She still looks shocked as I offer her a hand to help her get on her feet, probably trying to figure out where things went wrong. We were doing one of those fast corner turns, and I lost my grip on her, sending her to the floor.

"Gosh, that was... Powerful," she gives me a small smile.

Madison always has kind words for me as long as I don't piss her, and even then her comebacks are smart and measured. She compliments and encourages me when I'm doing things right. I expected her to change and yell at me after what just happened but she hasn't.

"I'm not meant for this Madison. I didn't do that on purpose. I won't last long in the competition. Not that I mind, but I also don't want to look like an idiot on live TV."

"That is silly. You were doing fine and I know you didn't plan that. Let's try not to turn into a centrifuge the next time," she laughs. "Try to make the turn in a four count. That should help you to keep the right tempo... And speed."

"Kevin and Liz will be delighted if I make a major blunder on live TV," I mumble as I pace the studio.

"Fer, you know the dance already, and there are no eliminations on the first show. That means you will have an extra week afterwards to fine-tune it. People will get to see how far you have come from never having danced and what you know by now. The following week you will feel a whole lot more comfortable during the elimination round," Madison says in a firm yet soothing voice that reminds me of my mom.

"Do you believe I'm doing okay or you say that so I don't become difficult? Come on Madison, tell me the truth. I hate it when people lie to me."

"The truth is that you can dance, but I have the idea you get distracted easily and forget what you were doing. That's when things turn messy."

She is right. I keep thinking about many things while we rehearse, disaster scenarios mostly. I'm still paranoid after the weed incident with Javier. While doing laundry, I kept smelling his clothes for any traces of drugs.

He doesn't talk to me since that day. This week he is with me again and we communicate via chat. Well, I wouldn't call it communication. It's only me sending him messages and being left in read. I haven't told Denise about what happened cause I don't want to worry her, plus this happened in my house, not hers.

"Try to focus more and it will be all right. Let's go back to the starting position. By know, you should be able to distinguish the beat in the song, so I will stop saying the steps out loud."

I feel a hint of panic at the idea, but I nod. I should have told her the truth since the beginning. My hand moves over my pocket where I feel the two tiny devices, safely stored away, but now it's too late to put them on.

Madison starts the music with the remote and nods for me to begin. I try to focus on the music, but without Madison saying the steps next to my ear I can only hear distorted sounds that compete for my eardrums' attention. Taking a guess, I get to the first lock step, and my feet stumble sending me to the edge of panic.

"What is happening?" Madison says after stopping the music. "Are you feeling okay? You could do the dance line a moment ago without a problem."

"I can't do this," I look at myself in the studio mirrors, all I see is the pathetic man of years ago. Only the janitor clothes and my glasses are missing.