Forgotten Hatred (Shizaya)

Chapter 7: Three Weeks Later

Shizuo's POV

"Shizu-chan, I made you dinner." Izaya has been taking care of me for half a month now. I never asked him to, but he insists.

Even after three weeks, I still can't come to terms with what happened. No matter how angry I got, I had never killed a person before. I always thought Izaya would be the first and only person- no thing- that I killed. I never even imagined it would be a close friend like Vorona. Although, I kind of do appreciate Izaya here.

I nod and follow him into the kitchen. I sit down across from him and we eat in silence.

"Shizu-chan, I read somewhere that writing down everything you feel can help you overcome it," Izaya says after awhile.

I give a meek, "Okay," and then continue to eat. 

After dinner, Izaya starts to clean up. He goes over to the sink to wash the dishes and I sigh. I get up and approach him.

"Move over, flea," I nudge him to the side and take over the sink. 

"Ow! Shizu-chan, that hurt," he complains rubbing his arm.

I roll my eyes. "I barely touched you."

We still have this sort of relationship, but it's not as animated as before. I'm sure he's anxiously waiting for the day when I can finally regain my composure. That's probably the only reason he wants me to get better. Even after he lost his memories, he still liked getting on my nerves.

"Shizu-chan, I was washing the dishes, so go sit on the couch," he points into the living room.

"No," I tell him. "Stop taking care of me. I can do it myself!"

"Too bad!" He pouts, but then changes his mind. "I guess if you really want to wash the dishes, you can." He walks out of the room and I'm left alone.

The old me would have been surprised by his submission, but I don't really see the point in caring.

Vorona has been the only thing on my mind lately. She had thought she was a monster, but she wasn't. She was both kind and smart. She was also young. She had a future waiting for her, whether she believed it or not, yet I took it from her.

I can't help but hate myself. Sometimes I want to escape the blame and tie it to Izaya, but I know it was me. Izaya probably thinks nothing of it, and probably wouldn't even care if I blamed him.

I put the dishes away and walk into the living room. Where did Izaya run off to? I didn't hear the door open, so I'm guessing he's in the house.

Whatever, I tell myself. He can take care of himself. I sit down, but get back up almost momentarily. I think that, but I know he'll get into some type of trouble if I don't keep an eye on him.

"Izaya, where are you?" I ask, and walk into my room.

"I'm in the bathroom!" He pauses. "Don't worry, I'll be out soon!"

"You better not be making a mess." I know he won't. Even if he did, he'd clean it up, because those are the kinds of things he's been doing all this time.

I hear the water running and I sit on the bed. Yep. He made a mess, unless he feels like cleaning the bathroom.

"Shizu-chan! Could you please get me some paper towels?"

I get up. He's probably upset that I cleaned the dishes, so he decided to clean the bathroom instead. He's been doing stuff like that this whole time. Every time I take over when he's doing something, he goes off and cleans something.

When I come back, he's standing outside the bathroom waiting for me with the door closed behind him.

"Thank you, Shizu-chan!" He smiles at me.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?" He tilts his head slightly to the side.

"Why is the door closed?"

"I made a mess," he tells me, "but don't worry. I'll clean it up."

"No," I sigh. "I'll clean it up. It's fine." I mean, he has been cleaning up after me for the past three weeks, so it's the least I can do.

"No," he frowns. "I want to clean it." He reaches for the paper towels, but I hold them out of reach.

"I told you I'll clean it."

"Don't you need to smoke?"

Okay, now I'm really suspicious. He hates that I smoke. He's put up with it since I've been depressed, but he never mentions it.

I narrow my eyes. "What kind of mess did you make exactly?"

"Umm, not really a whole lot, I just spilled some toothpaste and soap," he looks at the ground. He's lying.

"Then why do you need paper towels?"

"It got on the ground and I was going to clean the rest of the bathroom!" He argues, scrunching his eyebrows together and staring me in the face.

"I won't get mad," I promise, "so let me in."

"I think I accidentally locked the door."

"Don't make me do this the hard way," I tell him.

"Please, Shizu-chan. Let me clean it!" He begs.

I ignore him and move him out of the way. He tries to get back in front of the door, but I don't yield. I try the handle and it works. Like I thought, he lied.

When I open the door I can't believe what I see. I stare at him and look back in the bathroom. Blood drips from the sink and pools on the floor. The sink it's self looks almost stained. Bandages and scissors sit scattered on the toilet seat.

I quickly turn around and glare at Izaya, who tries to sneak away.

"Come here," I command.

He slinks back over to me and looks at me desperately. "You said you wouldn't get mad."

I say nothing, but grab his arm and pull up his sleeve. He winces. His whole arm is covered in bandages, blood leaking through in some places.

I slowly and carefully unwrap the bandages. He watches silently. When I peel off just the first section I find not only deep cuts, but also gauges of skins ripped out.

"Why?"

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I'll just leave you guys with that until I find time to write again. Yeah, I'm not too sure if you guys will like that or not, and I definitely didn't think It'd be this long.

Sorry if this makes you sad. I am a pretty brutal person, so yeah. On the bright side, this might be the only time. It depends how I feel.

Please feel free to vote, comment, message me, or even yell at me about what happened.

Bye, bye!

18-8-16