Phil's Sister

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( Quinn's POV )

I know that Dan and Phil are trying their hardest to help me stay happy, but I know better then them all that i'm going downhill fast and it's going to be the worst season of depression I will probably ever have. On the train home, Phil was texting me and trying to make me smile, it worked sometimes but I still felt empty. When I was on the train I saw so many couples, happily in love and it made me feel worse, more alone, more soulless. 

Fran meant everything to me, she and Phil pulled me out last time and that's what made me fall in love with her, plus she had the kindest soul. I just wish I never hurt her, but she has probably forgotten about me and already has another girlfriend. I don't know if I even love Tyler anymore... We haven't spoken in 4 days. 

When I got home I went straight up to my room, my mum and dad weren't home so I never had to deal with their thousands of questions: every time I slip back into my old self, they always want to ask me things or take me to see a doctor again and that never ends up good. They would just give a pill that should help and it never does, or they will tell me to spend time with people who make me smile... That was truthly Phil, but now he lives miles away with Dan!

I chucked my bag in the corner of my room and fell onto my bed, I text Phil:

Phil, i'm home 

Eat or sleep, you need them both

I'm not hungry or tired.. So I'm not doing them

Quinn! Try for me and Dan

I have only known Dan for 3 days.. He probably doesn't even care

He does

Phil stop lying to me, Dan was only being nice and I know he doesn't care.. He's just another person who has no relation to me at all

So you're saying the guy who had depression, no friends, on the verge of giving up and is still having existential crisis' has no idea what you're going through?

Well, he had it.. He has probably forgot how it feels

Quinn, just get some sleep

I put my phone on my bedside table, and laid there. I couldn't stop my thoughts, they just kept coming in and never leaving. I was lost in them until I heard a knock on my bedroom door, I sat up, turned around and was greeted by my mum. She was carrying a box of my things from university dorm. While I was staying at Phil's, my parents thought they would help by clearing it out for me

"Phil told me" My mum said as she walked in, shutting the door behind her. "How do you feel?"

I shrugged, "I don't know" I muttered. I have never been super close to my parents, but they were always there when I needed them or if Phil wasn't, which was nice. 

My mum pulled me into a huge hug, "It's okay to cry you know" She smiled,
"I have nothing left to cry out" I hugged her back. You could hear the sadness in my voice..
"Aww Quinn. How was your long weekend with Phil?" She asked pulling away from the hug,
"Nice, I meet Dan for the first time and helped them film" I smiled, not a real one through.
"Do you like him?" She asked,
I shrugged, "I don't know yet"
"Well, shout if you need anything" Mum smiled and walked out.

I presumed to just laying on my bed for hours crying. They more I cried the more I missed her, My phone buzzed,

Dan Howell (Danisnotonfire) started following you

Wow, wait how did he find me I thought to myself, I unlocked my phone and found myself scrolling through his profile. I followed him back.

Danisnotonfire commented: <3 Smile

Why is he going through my profile, that photo was from 6 months ago I thought, as I sent him a DM.

Why '<3 Smile'?

I wasn't expecting him to reply, he probably had loads of people sending DMs (he is famous and all)

Because your smile is pretty and you need to know that x

thank you but it don't change how I feel..

Have you eaten?

No

Slept?

No

Please?

Dan you don't care, i'm never going to right in head

I do and you will be

Sure :/

Anyway.. how do you feel?

Sick, alone, empty, sad...

Remember Phil is a skype call away <3

Yeah....

Are you doing anything this week?

Crying and probably laying on the carpet in my room until I fall asleep or give up doing that

:/ You promised me you would look after yourself

I know

I put phone in my trousers pocket and put my jumper on, I made my way down stairs. I walked into the living room: my mum and dad were watching TV,
"Hey Quinn." My dad said as I walked into the room,
"Do you want any dinner?" my mum asked, I shook my head. I stayed silent, watching TV with them. I could tell they were both equality as worried as Dan and Phil were about me. That was last thing I wanted, was people worrying about me. After a few minutes, I walked back upstairs and got into bed, I never sleept. Just staring at the ceiling and thinking.

The next fews days were the same: Drink and eat a little, feel sick, talk to Dan and Phil a little, Cry more, Sleep less, stay in my room all day.