5sos interracial preferences ❋ imagines

Try Again - {Luke}

[A/N: this just a little shit I wrote >:) lmao anyway, enjoy and don't judge cuz this is lame af]

You were snuggled up in blankets on your couch, watching one of your favorite tv shows. It was the same every night now: a bowl of some useless snacks, a pile of blankets on the couch, and the television to drown out your problems. You weren't sure how many weeks had went by of this consistent thing, but you truly and honestly lost your feelings to even care.

It had been rainy and cloudy for the past few days, and you loved it. You usually didn't mind the sunshine and blue skies, but ever since that day and moment, you yearned for the grey clouds to come. You felt a close relationship with them; like, for example, when it rained, you felt a feeling that most people couldn't wrap their minds around. You felt like the constant storms understood your pain.

Ever since that day, everyone knew you weren't okay. People would come in and check on you and drop off meals you would never bother to eat. You just felt so down; so guilty.

Even Luke's family, the family of your dear husband, knew you weren't in your best state of mind. And your family knew it as well.

You just didn't want to be looked at when you stepped foot outside. You were afraid to leave the couch.

Luke had been at the studio late tonight, and he called to make sure you were fine. You simply lied, just like all the other times, and he only sighed, his voice low and timid as he replied, "Okay."

He was battling the same feeling as you, except he wasn't as severe. It just so happened to be the way things turned out.

When your show went on commercial break, a very specific advertisement came on, as if it was trying to taunt your heavy heart.

It was a commercial of a little baby, crawling cheerfully around on a white backdrop, showing it's nubby teeth. Your heart sank as your eyes welled up with tears; you were living the same nightmare again: the miscarriage, the pain, the blaming. Everything. All. Over. Again. It was shocking still to know that you two were supposed to have a child.

It was so much pain. You were only six months pregnant, so you knew that when you were leaking tons of blood, there was a problem.

It was at Luke's concert. He was on stage, singing the lyrics to Beside You. You were swiftly swaying along in the VIP section until you felt a sharp pain. At first, you thought you were going into labor, but you knew it was too soon. You felt weak in your legs and your maternity outfit that you had bought the day before was covered in blood when you looked down. You gasped as you stumbled back, crashing onto your side, taking oddly short breaths as the pain traveled throughout your nerves. As you lost consciousness, and as you lied on the ground, your eyesight hazy, you could see dark shadows rushing towards you as you still could faintly hear Luke's voice echoing through the microphone as the band continued with the song---without the knowledge that you were hurt.

That's when you woke up in the hospital, being told about everything that had happened and that you almost lost your life, and that, unfortunately, your baby didn't make it. They told you it was hormonal abnormalities and that it caused the uterus to expel lots of blood rapidly, which caused the miscarriage to happen. It was the worst feeling, and as you sobbed in your hospital bed, Luke shed tears and held a gaze of true pain as he squeezed your hand.

That day was never to be forgotten. The day the child you and Luke and had been waiting to have was gone, after those short six months.

It was you constantly pointing the finger at yourself. You thought that it was all your fault that the rest of the band's tour was cancelled because of the incident. You felt like the reason your child wasn't snuggled up in a warm blanket in your arms was all because of you.

None of it was true though. It was all just some big mistake that really shouldn't have happened, but it did. It did---and there was no turning back now.

Suddenly, the door creeped open and you sat up, catching a glimpse of Luke. His head was down, his cheeks were red---along with his eyes, as he sat his keys on the table.

"Hey, Y/N," he sighed, walking into the living room where you were. "it was a long night. Being back in the studio again after all this time was strange for me; especially seeing the guys after so long."

You cracked a small smile, sitting up so he could sit down next to you. He instantly wrapped his arms around your waist, forcing you to lie on your back. Your head fell softly on the cushion of the couch as he snuggled his left side of his face into your chest. He didn't say anything for a minute or so, he just held the same gloomy look in his oceanic eyes, drawing circles with his index finger on your sides.

"It isn't your fault," he started.

"Huh?"

He raised his head and peered deeply into your eyes. "I know what you're thinking,"

You lost eye contact and looked back at the television screen, listening to the low volume. After a few seconds, you bit your  lip, feeling the burning sensation in your eyes as your tears began to block your view. A small whimper escaped your lips as you covered your face.

"Y/N..." Luke said softly, his mouth agape.

He pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around your back, locking you in as you sobbed in his black T-shirt. He couldn't take it seeing you like this, blaming yourself and crying every night. He thought you were getting better, but you were nowhere near better. He rested his head on your shoulder and you could feel his warm tears soaking through your shirt.

"Y/N... You..." He couldn't even make out the right words. His voice cracked a little as he said, "This isn't your fault..."

"Yes, Luke, it is!" you yelled out in frustration, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

He tipped your chin, making you look up at him. He had tear stains on his cheeks and his face was glowing pink. He blinked slowly before speaking again.

"It's not the end, Y/N, you know that?" he almost whispered.

You looked up at him slowly, and it seemed as if it had been moments of you gazing at him. All the previous times that you and Luke shared together was replaying like an old tape in your head. The moment you met, the moment you kissed, the moment you held him close to you for the first time... the smile on his face as he watched you walk down the aisle in a glorious white dress; it was as if everything was going fine until now.

"Luke..." You sulked. "I know it's not the end. I'm just so afraid of it happening all over again,"

"Babe, it's not. We can always try again,"  he half smiled. "Whenever you're ready,
Y/N."

He cupped your chin with his hand and pulled you in, your lips connecting and  the two began to kiss ever so sweetly. He leant into you, feeling every bone in his body relax to the feel of your soft lips against his. He parted from you and smiled.

And for the rest of the night, you two cuddled on the couch watching the television together.

                      **************

[A/N: I'm so so so sorry this was so cringe worthy.. but anyway, I'm in school now and so far it's good :D

I hope you enjoy your school year as well (if you're still in there lololol)!

Love you guyssss

~zonthiewonthie