When did I become so numb?
"Toru-kun daijobu desu ka (are you okay)?" I heard my friend Taiki ask me. "You know that she will be okay right?"
"Yea but will I be okay? I mean it's been a year and she's still asleep. She's still in a coma all because I got angry at her and she ran off." I said.
I blamed myself for her accident. I was so stressed and she kept asking if I was okay but all I did was yell at her. The next thing I knew she was ran over by a car. She had a head injury and slipped into a coma. Taiki told me that the doctor said that its up to the patient to wake up and that I need to go see her. Only, I blame myself for what happened to her. I just feel paralyzed. I don't feel any happiness because every time I think of being happy I think of her. Then, I blame myself more. All of my friends always ask me to come to the hospital with them but I refuse.
"Hey Toru sensei." I heard Hayate from behind me. "I know that you don't want to see my sister but I know she wants to see you."
"But it's my fault that she was hurt." I said.
"And how will she wake up if you don't go see her." He said. "This isn't just about you okay. I have a little brother who is watching his sister from a hospital bed while he grows up." He said with anger but sadness in his voice. "I have to watch one of my best friends suffer while my sister is longing for him. Go see her please. Just once."
"Fine." I had finally given in after a year.
When I saw her in that room all I wanted to do was shout apologies as loud and as often as I could but I couldn't. I felt as if I couldn't feel at all anymore.
"Hey..." I said and then I heard the door close leaving the room empty with her. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry it took me this long to come see you."
"I-it's-O-okay." I heard and then felt a hand grab mine. "H-hey." She said with her eyes open.
"I'm so sorry..." I kept saying.
"This isn't your fault." She said and held my hand tighter. "You wanna know all I thought about while I was asleep?"
"What?" I asked.
"I dreamed about you and how much I missed you. How much I missed being here. That's why I didn't leave until you came back." She said.
"I was paralyzed. I couldn't feel any emotion without you. Every emotion lead to a thought about you and then I blamed myself." I said.
"Well you can be happy now. I can be happy with you." She said.
"I love you. I never stopped."
"Neither did I." She said.
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I know longer feel things I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
A/N: I'm sorry for all the depressing fanfics I just really like this rapper. Anyway I'm going to update {Hope} soon so look forward to that and I probably won't be able to post on Sunday but I will tomorrow hopefully. Lol. Anyway thanks for reading bye bye~~
YOU ARE READING
My Life as a Fangirl
RandomThis is just a book that I write in when I'm bored or when I just want to chat with fellow fans. I'll have a chapter for each of the bands in the picture. BTS, Hey! Say! JUMP, and Da-iCE. I'll ask questions about them. Maybe list a few facts. Anyway...
